IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? To what extend do you agree or disagreewith this opinion?

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Nowadays, Children are not able to understand what is right and wrong for them. I think that parents and teachers should be allowed to give a strict punishment, so they will able to give knowledge about good
behavior
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behaviour
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 to children, I agree with
this
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 opinion and we will discuss
this
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 topic in
this
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 essay. On the one hand,
Its
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It's
it is
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 important for Elders to teach
the
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apply
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good behaviour to their children and for that
i
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I
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 am thinking that teachers and parents are responsible. They can take some actions like if the child will not behave in
good
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a good
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 manner they can stop to talk with him, teachers can punish
student
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the student
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 in front
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of
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od
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of
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 the class like they

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grammar
Ensure you use proper punctuation and grammar throughout your essay. For example, 'Its' should be 'It's' and 'Elders' should be 'elders' in the context used.
content
Try to elaborate more on your ideas and provide a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and includes specific examples related to the use of punishment.
clarity
Avoid ambiguous phrasing. The statement 'I am thinking that teachers and parents are responsible' is weaker than a direct assertion. Use 'I believe' or 'I argue'.
content
The essay begins with a clear opinion, stating that you agree with the use of punishment to teach good behavior.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • verbal warnings
  • time-outs
  • constructive methods
  • positive reinforcement
  • reward systems
  • psychological effects
  • foster
  • resentment
  • modeling
  • physical punishment
  • emotional well-being
  • balance
  • understanding
  • long term effects
What to do next:
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