Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

study

Wrong verb form

studying

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school

Use synonyms

is not essential anymore because it can be replaced by

Use synonyms

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

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and

children

Use synonyms

can gather any information they want from the

world

Capitalize word

World

show examples

wibe

Correct your spelling

wide

web.

While

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

admit that

Use synonyms

study

Replace the word

studying

show examples

remotely at

home

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through

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

has some beneficial aspects, I would argue that, in

school

Use synonyms

students

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can compete with their own peers and

socilize

Correct your spelling

socialize

socialise

with them,which we

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have these benefits in

home

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schooling. On the one hand,

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

home

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could be beneficial for

students

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due to

Linking Words

some compelling reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

do not have to waste their time and money

for

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show examples

their transportation anymore.Through my own experience, I had to dedicate 3 hours of my daily time and 30

percent

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per cent

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of my daily money to get to

school

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during my childhood .

Secondly

Linking Words

students

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can personalize their curriculum based on

theirown

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their own

life style

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lifestyle

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, I am a night owl so

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prefer to

study

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at night rather than morning.Because my brain works more sufficient during

night

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the night

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On the other hand

Linking Words

students

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should learn at

school

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because it limits the risk of some mental disorders and

preapres

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prepares

prepare

them for their upward

mobilities

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mobility

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in many ways.First and

for most

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foremost

show examples

children

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can not communicate and

socilize

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socialize

socialise

with their peers at

home

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in person.So, it can lead to some serious negative chronic illnesses in terms of their mental health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, most of the time social isolation can lead to depression and anxiety in individuals.Another reason can

be attribute

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be attributed

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to the fact that

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apply

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children

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can compete with each other in

school

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Likewise

Linking Words

,they can get awarded for their wins and learn from their losses.With

this

Linking Words

method

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method,

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they are more prepared for their future life and they can have better outcomes

while

Linking Words

facing their problems. In conclusion,some argue that schools should be replaced by studying at

home

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and learning through the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

However

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

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believe despite remote

study

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's comfort in learning, there are

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of other aspects of

children

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that are not

fullfiled

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fulfilled

home

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such

Linking Words

communicate

Wrong verb form

communicating

show examples

and

copete

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compete

cooperate

with people

with

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show examples

the same age.

ieltswriting345Sat Mar 08 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly states your position. This will help clarify your argument right from the beginning.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper punctuation to enhance readability. For example, consider breaking up some long sentences into shorter ones.

task achievement

Expanding on your examples with more specific details or statistics can strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

You presented a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is commendable and shows critical thinking.

task achievement

Your personal experience adds an engaging touch to the essay and helps to illustrate your points effectively.

task achievement

You identify important reasons related to socialization and competition that support your argument for traditional schooling.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social development
fostering communication
personalized guidance
immediate feedback
replicated
structured environments
discipline
time management skills
extracurricular activities
nurture talents
inculcate
sense of community
shared learning experiences
equal access
learning opportunities

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Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is the positie pr a negative development?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.