In many organizations old people are getting neglected at work because of new young talented individuals. What are the problems and possible solutions for this problem

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In many workplaces, there is a natural conflict between younger and older employees as
regard
Correct subject-verb agreement
regards

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to
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can impact
morale
Correct article usage
the morale

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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ef
Correct your spelling
of

The word ef doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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old people
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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in
number
Change the article
a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of ways and
best
Correct article usage
the best

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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solutions involve competent management and hiring practices. One of the primary challenges associated with older
people’s
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people is

The word ’s doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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that it would create toxic
enviromen
Correct your spelling
environment
environments

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deads
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leads

The word deads doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to lower job satisfaction
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

poor
qually
Correct your spelling
quality

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manufacturing of goods. competition brings out jealousy in all individuals. They have to compete with fresh graduates who have
ne
Correct your spelling
new

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technology skills which
older
Correct article usage
the older

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation are lacking of.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
self respect
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self-respect

It appears that self respect is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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would have been hurt, if
younger
Correct article usage
the younger

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation
keep
Wrong verb form
kept

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb keep. Consider changing it.

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at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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first
Add an article
the first

The noun phrase first place seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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place
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of older people. They might feel undervalued, because, they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't

The word cant doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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match
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the speed of newcomers.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In
high paced
Add a hyphen
high-paced

It seems that high paced is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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industrial work, older
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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might face some serious
challerges
Correct your spelling
challenges

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to cope with the speed of work. To overcome
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pose

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pese
Correct your spelling
these

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challenges,
comprehensive
Add an article
a comprehensive
the comprehensive

The noun phrase comprehensive plan seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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plan is crucial,
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, management should
allocat
Correct your spelling
allocate

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people
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their
Correct your spelling
interest
interests
intrest
Correct your spelling
interests

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and the
Correct your spelling
nature
neture
Correct your spelling
nature

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en
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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job
Correct article usage
the job

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
, for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

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instance, work that
dendands
Correct your spelling
demands

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good
eyesigut
Correct your spelling
eyesight

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and advanced technology, might suit
new
Correct article usage
the new

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation
Correct your spelling
better
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batter
Correct your spelling
better

The word batter doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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than old
Correct your spelling
people
peop
Correct your spelling
people

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Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
pisically
Correct your spelling
physically

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demanding jobs
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as lifting heavy containers, weight and so on, should be devoted to
fresher
Fix the agreement mistake
freshers

It seems that fresher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, as they are physically fit and less prone to injury. To add to it, management should
scheduled
Change the verb form
schedule

The verb scheduled after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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new employees with the existing employees, So, both can benefit from each
otners
Correct your spelling
others
other

If you don’t want otners to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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adopting a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced

The verb balance should be in the participle form when used as an adjective. Consider changing the form of this verb.

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approach of hiring and sorting out jobs
according
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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can solve the conflict of competition in jobs among both generations.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is possible only through some concerted effort from
managennet
Correct your spelling
management

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.

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language
There are several spelling and grammatical errors throughout your essay, such as 'ef' for 'of', 'enviromen' for 'environment', and 'allocated' should be 'allocated'. It's essential to proofread your work to correct such errors for a clearer understanding.
content
While you presented some ideas about the problems and solutions, further elaboration on each point would enhance the depth of your essay. For instance, providing more varied examples could support your arguments better.
cohesion
The transitions between some ideas can be smoother. Using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can help in connecting thoughts and maintaining a logical flow.
conclusion
The conclusion can be made stronger by summarizing the key points you’ve made in the essay, rather than just restating the thesis.
content
You identified a relevant topic and presented a clear argument regarding the conflict between older and younger employees, which is well aligned with the essay prompt.
task response
Your essay attempts to address both problems and solutions, which is a good approach for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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