IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)
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The line chart gives information about the fee of
a family members
Correct the article-noun agreement
family members
a family member
show examples
 for
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of electronic devices four types of MP3 players, Mobile phones, computers and tablets from 1995 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows that the using MP3
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
, cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 it was started
almost
Change preposition
in almost
show examples
 the same categories and had the highest
while
Linking Words
 it was MP3plyer declined.
furthermore
Linking Words
, the tablet showed that no households owned in the past year compared to the end. In 1995 , it was a trend for mobile phones and computers
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
trough of approximately 5 per cent .and in 2000 for mobile phones jumped to 70
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
however
Linking Words
, using
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the computer
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fluctuated
percentage
Change preposition
in percentage
show examples
 between 2000 to 2005 . After that , both electronic
device
Change to a plural noun
devices
show examples
continued to fast increase around 95 rates in 2015. In 1995 , MP3
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was growing slightly from around 15 per cent to 30 rates in 2015.
Although
Linking Words
 in approximately 2002 year for tablet consumption was at zero
rate
Change to a plural noun
rates
show examples
 and dramatically rose in
Change the article
the
show examples
year 2015

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line chart
  • ownership percentages
  • electronic devices
  • 20-year period
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • detailed comparison
  • highest ownership rates
  • dramatic changes
  • potential reasons
  • trends
  • shifts
  • insights
  • implications
  • future device ownership patterns
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