IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

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The map provided illustrates how Porth Harbour town has been transformed from 2000 up to the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, since 2000, the Port harbour has undergone a number of changes, the main
one
Use synonyms
 being an additional dock. In Porth
Add a comma
harbour,
show examples
harbour
Capitalize word
Harbour
show examples
 there have been significant changes to the infrastructure and facilities over a given period of time. In the past, the public beach was situated on the northern east side, just above the dock for passenger ferries. The main road was included on the northern west side which was constructed to connect the
car
Use synonyms
 parks
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the
life boat
Correct your spelling
lifeboat
show examples
. On the northern west side, there were 3 facilities which were a
car
Use synonyms
 park, showers and toilets and private yachts.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 park, fishing boat and castle were placed on the southern east and west sides. At present, the castle has been transformed into a hotel with a beach of its own, and the places of Marina (private yachts) and the fishing boats were swapped by each other’s position.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was
one
Use synonyms
docks
Change to a singular noun
dock
show examples
 in the past, but now an additional dock
built
Add a missing verb
is built
show examples
 on.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was only
one
Use synonyms
 shower and toilet in 2000, the additional
one
Use synonyms
 is built between the
car
Use synonyms
 parks. Even though the main road was connected to the
car
Use synonyms
 park and the lifeboats, now it connects to the commercial hotel. Cafes and shops have been introduced near the Marine.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and ensuring that the information flows logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
Add a brief conclusion summarizing the changes, which would provide a strong closing to your essay.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the main changes that occurred in Porth Harbour from 2000 to the present day.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multi-purpose building
  • recreational facilities
  • maritime safety
  • leisure destination
  • tourism-focused
  • infrastructure improvements
  • pedestrian promenade
  • landmark
  • expanded roads
  • transport infrastructure
  • industrial use
  • cruise ship terminal
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