IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer? Nazym

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Marketing is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 important part of each business which could build it functionally .Advertising and representing
products
Correct article usage
the products
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 of a factory is crucial to compete in a marketplace ,so , investing in
this
Linking Words
 area is
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
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 action of the owners ,
however
Linking Words
, evaluating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 effects of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 on the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 of consumers is another part of marketing . When
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 wants to choose
specific
Add an article
a specific
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 brand of one product must have enough knowledge about the performance and function of
this
Linking Words
 product
on
Change preposition
in
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 their own life ,
for example
Linking Words
, there are many brands of beauty products ,
however
Linking Words
 , some of them would be
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 among people ,because of
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
 presentation in front of pupils ,when
this
Linking Words
 issue is important that people pay
own
Add the particle
to own
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 their budget to products more than its worthy ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , they must be aware don not pay for the only branding
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 quality plus branding . Another
disadvantages
Replace the adjective
disadvantage
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is create
Change the verb form
is created
is creating
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 reinforcement to buy ,sometimes there are tricky ways to steal pockets of money based on
rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
rolling
 internal
tentions
Correct your spelling
tensions
 of shoppers ,
for example
Linking Words
 , buying a machine is an important product which could be done based on the mode of marketing not based on the real needs ,expectation and practical use of it in
real
Add an article
a real
the real
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 situation of life . In conclusion , I think there are some famous brands which are
proved
Wrong verb form
proving
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theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
Add an article
the road
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 of loyalty to response needs of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 not only based on their selling process , so , all markets have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 methods of advertising , so the
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 must be aware to choose one of them .

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coherence and cohesion
Work on developing clearer topic sentences for your paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your points; they could help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and misspellings as these can affect your overall clarity.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising for consumers.
task achievement
You attempted to use specific examples related to marketing, which demonstrates your engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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