IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 era,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates are at
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 peak. Many people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
extended
Wrong verb form
extending
show examples
 the time period of prison will reduce the rate of
crime
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some believe that there are effective ways
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still exist to address the
crime
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both
agruments
Correct your spelling
arguments
 and give
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
at the end
Linking Words
. First and foremost, longer
prison
Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
show examples
 serve as
deterrent
Add an article
a deterrent
show examples
. It will discourage the
crimminal
Correct your spelling
criminal
 from
cpommiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 the
crime
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 severe punishment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if they
are sentence
Change the verb form
are sentenced
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 prison for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time, they will feel guilty for
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 the
crime
Use synonyms
. Offenders will become more afraid to commit the
crime
Use synonyms
, as it is not worth to put their lives at high risk.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 punishable
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 penalty
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 at
low
Add an article
a low
the low
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 in society, like rape cases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate by using alternative approaches. Government should
held
Change the verb form
hold
show examples
 workshops and
seminer
Correct your spelling
seminars
seminar
 to educate the community.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should install more security cameras on
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 or streets and hiring more police officers will make cities
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, there are two opposite
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
to increase
Change preposition
for increasing
show examples
 the
punsihment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 period or
approch
Correct your spelling
approaching
 different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to finish the
crime
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 rationale is more convincing to end the root cause of
crime
Use synonyms
 by addressing the solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word forms. For instance, 'extended the time period of prison' should be 'extending prison sentences'.
Lexical Resource
Enhance vocabulary usage to express your ideas more precisely, such as using 'recidivism' instead of 'crime rates' in the context of repeat offenders.
Coherence
Ensure logical flow and clear connectivity between ideas by using more linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
Cohesion
Make sure to review sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing, ensuring clarity in your arguments.
Structure
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined the opposing views, setting a clear framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, showing an awareness of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
What to do next:
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