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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays people moving to other countries to seek job. Some people think it affects the children of such home negatively while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.

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In today's modern world, many people go to work abroad to earn more money. Some people believe that moving to other countries for work negatively affects
children
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,
while
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 others think it is beneficial. When parents migrate for work ,
children
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 may experience loneliness and a lack of parental care.
This
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 can impact their emotional well-being and education. On the positive side,migration can provide
children
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 with better education, health care and living standards. Even if they stay behind financial support from parents working abroad can improve their quality of life. In conclusion, the impact of migration on
children
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 depends on how well parents maintain their connection with them.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. For instance, in the negative impacts section, you could include specific cases or statistics related to children's emotional well-being.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Some transitions could be improved to enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on both sides of the argument. For example, you could expand on how better education, healthcare, and living standards directly benefit children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for a well-structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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