IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays people moving to other countries to seek job. Some people think it affects the children of such home negatively while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.

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Many people move to other countries to find better jobs. Some think it will harm their children,
while
Linking Words
 others think it will benefit them. On one hand, working abroad can provide children with better education, healthcare, and a higher standard of living. They
also
Linking Words
 gain exposure to different cultures and develop independence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, children may feel lonely and emotionally stressed. Frequent moves can disrupt their education and make it difficult to adjust to new schools and cultures. They may
also
Linking Words
 lose friends. In my opinion, moving to another place is not recommended. If you have to move, parents should provide emotional support, which may have more benefits.

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task achievement
Expand on each point with more detail and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence
Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence
Include a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is a key requirement for the task.
coherence
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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