IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

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In modern days,
change
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 is considered constant in life.
Therefore
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, some believe that it is essential to implement
change
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 rather than letting things remain stable.
Although
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 the drawbacks of these may include a lack of
guarantee
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 in the process, I completely agree with
this
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 view, the benefits of
change
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 outweigh the drawbacks because
,
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apply
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change
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 is required in order to achieve progress in
workplace
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 and government settings.
This
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 essay will explore these views. On the one hand, sticking to a particular approach means
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guarantee
Wrong verb form
guaranteeing
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in
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apply
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the procedure.
This
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 will enhance familiarity and encourage learning.
For instance
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, in adult education programs, it is important to develop a clear and precise curriculum, because
this
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 will offer them
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guaranteed
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guarantee
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 time required and how to plan their schedules.
As a result
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,
this
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 can boost their courage
due to
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 knowledge of the next step.
On the other hand
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,
change
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 is crucial in certain institutions in order to attain progress. Some country rules and regulations were implemented decades ago, which is outdated and not in alliance with the modern era.
For example
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, the Nigerian constitution was created in 1999, which is 26 years ago, and some of the protocols exclude women from taking part in
a
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apply
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political seats,
such
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 laws need to be modified because more women are now educated and can participate in
a public seats
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public seats
a public seat
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.
Therefore
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, reversing
such
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 rules can provide inclusion in the country and foster national development.
In addition
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, advancements in technology have made automation in the
workplace
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 common.
This
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 makes it essential for some
workplace
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 to
change
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 their etiquette, especially in terms of working hours and extension of labour.
For instance
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, some factories implement 12-hour shifts
due to
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 task overload, with assisted technology and machines, these tasks will be easily carried out, which will result in less time spent on manual labour.
Thus
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, reducing time spent on working and extending hardship. In conclusion, Despite the fact that
change
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 is an important aspect of life
,
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apply
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 because it offers the privilege to modify and re-amend laws, it
also
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 poses some negative traits
such
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 as a lack of
guarantee
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 in the process.
However
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, a balanced approach between these factors can promote a better community and
workplace
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.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and ensure your arguments directly relate back to the main question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and context. This can help illustrate your points more effectively.
Content
The essay addresses a relevant and engaging topic that is contemporary in nature, demonstrating a good understanding of the subject.
Support
You have made attempts to provide examples to support your arguments, which adds credibility to your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
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