The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.
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The data presents the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
for different categories namely
travel
Use synonyms
, music and film, books, and clothes in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
in two distinct years 2003 and 2013. The unit is measured in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the year 2003, the
travel
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the books had the lowest per cent
sales
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
film and music became the maximum
sales
Use synonyms
in 2013,
although
Linking Words
the clothes declined to the minimum
sales
Use synonyms
in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. In New
Zealand
Use synonyms
, it is attributed that the
travel
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
had more than a third which was the highest proportion in 2003,
then
Linking Words
in 2013, it slightly dropped to 29%.
However
Linking Words
, the clothes retail
sector
Use synonyms
was the second highest online
sales
Use synonyms
after
travel
Use synonyms
by 24%,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
declined by around 8% in 2013.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the film and music
sector
Use synonyms
became at the top of the table in 2013 by approximately 33% but in 2003 it was the third
sector
Use synonyms
by around a fifth.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, books purchased were the
less interested
Replace the word
least interesting
show examples
by citizens of Neo
Zealand
Use synonyms
by 19% and
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
had a significant increase to 22% in 2013.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel, zealand, percentage, sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Market share
  • Distribution
  • Retail sector
  • Consumer preferences
  • Growth/decline
  • Trend
  • Technological advancements
  • e-commerce
  • Comparison
  • Percentage
  • Online shopping sales
  • Sectoral shifts
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