These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages

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Nowadays, virtual meeting applications through cell phones and the web are considered essential for
the
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apply
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continuous social interaction with one another.
However
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,
this
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has its own pros and cons. I strongly believe that whatever we gain is far more than what we lose since it keeps us updated
on
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in
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a timely fashion about other
people
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people's
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news.
Moreover
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, we can contact
whoever
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whomever
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we want despite the possible long-distance. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will
further
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elaborate on these points.
Firstly
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, the advancement of technology over the past few decades was very rapid. The introduction of
internet
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the internet
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has been a
life changing
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life-changing
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step.
For instance
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, previously people knew about each other new events in life through visiting each other and overhearing from others. But currently, each one can post about any social event online and the relatives would know.
For instance
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, if someone
got
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gets
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married and
he posted
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posts
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online about
this
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, everyone
will
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would
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congratulate him.
Moreover
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, condolence for
a
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the
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death of
loved
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a loved
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one can be delivered immediately.
Hence
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, the usage of
internet
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the internet
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for socializing is beneficial in many different ways.
Secondly
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, a lot of people who have family members abroad
whom
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who
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living
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live
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in another country would have difficulties getting in touch with and knowing about their updates.
Therefore
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, the use of mobile phone applications
such
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as FaceTime would make it easier to communicate and keep updated about them.
That is
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why I believe
these technology
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this technology
these technologies
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will enhance and improve our social relationships. In conclusion,
although
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it has disadvantages. The advantages
is
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are
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far more when used appropriately. It will keep
use
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us
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more united with each other and allow more social interaction in many ways. So I see it as a mandatory tool
for
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this
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reason.

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Task Achievement
Try to ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main points, setting a clear expectation for the reader. Consider rephrasing your thesis to make it more straightforward.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistent vocabulary and avoid very similar phrases repeated in a short span. For example, instead of using 'know' or 'about' repeatedly, try synonyms or restructure your sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your arguments well without introducing new ideas. It should clearly state your final opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
You've presented a clear opinion on the topic, supporting it well with personal beliefs about technology.
Task Achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples that illustrate your points about the advantages of mobile communication.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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