IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many believed that the working
days
Use synonyms
 should be decreased in order to have a longer weekend. In my personal perspective, our life should not be restricted only to
work
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, and everyone needs more free
time
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 to reconnect with
a
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nature, spend quality
of
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time
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 with loved ones, and do her/his own hobbies. Yes!
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work
Capitalize word
Work
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 is substantial, yet we do not have to spend our entire life revolving around it. life is short, so you want to experience it to the fullest. You want to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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 for yourself to go out
,
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 and do things that you actually admire. Many and many people have given up on their hobbies because they do not have the
time
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 to do them.
For example
Linking Words
, My cousin likes to paint.
However
Linking Words
, since she started her 12-hour
work
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, she did not get the
time
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 to develop her skills. Even, though she has off
days
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, she usually spends these
days
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 resting in order to recharge her energy or with her family and friends.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if we have fewer working
days
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, the quality of the
work
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 will increase dramatically.Why? mainly because you wave only three
days
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 to
work
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, which is not energy consuming. Three
days
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 of working will help enhance the output of the
work
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 and employee satisfaction. Extended weekends not only will make employees happy
,
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 but will
also
Linking Words
 improve their
overall
Linking Words
 health.
For example
Linking Words
, Sara works in a very stressful environment, yet she only has three
days
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 to
work
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, Which will leave her with 4
days
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 to do anything she wants.
While
Linking Words
 she is away from
work
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, she gets to do anything that will relieve her stress, which improves both her mental and physical health. In conclusion, as much as working is important, we need to spend
time
Use synonyms
 for ourselves!

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are clearly stated and elaborated upon. Adding more specific examples or explanations can enhance your argument significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your paragraphs for clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Some sentences could be rephrased for greater clarity and precision.
Task Achievement
You effectively conveyed your personal perspective on the topic, which adds a unique touch to your argument.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples from personal life helps to illustrate your points and makes the essay more relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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