IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Undoubtedly, with the rapid development of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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,
money
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 has been becoming a sign to determine
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people
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whether people
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rich
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are rich
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 or not.
Whereas
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 some
people
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 look upon saving
money
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 earlier
is
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as
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 better,
another
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other
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people
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 refer to it as something not really important. I am in favour of the former, and the reasons will be elaborated on thoroughly as follows.
To begin
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 with, having enough
money
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 whenever can help
people
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 to face
the
Correct article usage
an
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 emergency
incedent
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incident
;
moreover
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, it
also
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provide
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provides
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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insurence
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insurance
 for things
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that happened
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happened
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happen
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 too suddenly to perpared.
That is
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,
money
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 is necessary for
human's
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human
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 life,
we
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and we
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 should save it earlier. Take
myself
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me
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 as an example. I am a 22-year-old student who
have
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has
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deposite
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deposited
, and I
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was injuried
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injuried
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injured
 in a car accident
last
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 year.
Fortunely
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Fortunately
, I had enough funding to
supported
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support
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me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
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 during that time I
cannot
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could not
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earned
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earn
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 income for my daily
consume
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consumption
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.
Secondly
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,
money
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 is a vital factor
to influence
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in influencing
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people
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reach
Add the particle
to reach
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 their aims or not.
In other words
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, if younger did not save
money
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 when they were still young, they would not have intensive to invent their
dream
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dreams
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,
such
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 as
further
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reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 or the
tuitor
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tutor
 of professional skills.
According to
Linking Words
 the essay from National Taiwan University, 64%
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 admitted they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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really regret that
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 put all of
Use synonyms
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
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on
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into
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entertanment
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entertainment
 when they were young, if they had another chance, they would
deposite
Correct your spelling
deposit
 it rather than
spent
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spend
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Correct pronoun usage
it for
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for
Change preposition
on
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 fun. In conclusion, young
people
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 should save
money
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 for their future because fortune can help them
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their goals faster and easier and
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 them
to imply
Verb problem
in
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 urgent
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that your statements are supported by clear explanations and relevant examples. Some points could be further elaborated for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement, and correct spelling. This will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences and supporting details to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and reasons to support it, demonstrating critical thinking on the issue.
task achievement
You provided a personal example, which adds credibility and relatability to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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