IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Do high
managers
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 deserve higher salaries than low workers
.
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?
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 I agree that high
employees
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 should receive a higher salary than others. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss why large organisations have high incomes and ordinary
employees
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 have low salaries.
To begin
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, Why do high
employees
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 have more money in the
companies
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.
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?
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Firstly
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,
companies
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 need to plan for the future,
Therefore
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, They always look for highly educated
employees
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 in order to create and manage the plan.
Moreover
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, They face many risks in their plans. If the plan has not been successful, owners are going to blame them, not the low employee.
Therefore
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, They deserve a high salary.
For instance
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, Apple
company
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 gives
managers
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 around $1000,000 per year, And now the highest
company
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 value in the world is Apple
company
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,
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apply
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 Because they adopted
this
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 strategy. So the experts are the reason for any successful
company
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.
On the other hand
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,
employees
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 in the
companies
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 receive the same amount of money whether high
managers
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 or low workers.
However
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, The low workers do not have responsibility in the
companies
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. They do their duties and carry out what the
managers
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 say.
in contrast
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, large organisations always have a responsibility and create plans and
also
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 they work even if they are at home.
Therefore
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,
companies
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 which follow
this
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 strategy are not going to be successful because they pay an equal salary.
For instance
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, Spote
company
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 gives all of their
employees
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 the same amount of money,
Therefore
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, The high
managers
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 are not motivated to work so it is incurring losses now. In conclusion, I would argue that the expert people who are working in any team always have the hardest work so they should have the highest income in
companies
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more defined arguments for each viewpoint. Present the opposing view more clearly before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitioning between ideas and paragraphs to improve overall flow and clarity.
task achievement
Clarify your examples and ensure they directly support your arguments. For instance, explain how the example of Apple links to your point.
task achievement
You clearly presented your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, showing a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
Your arguments about the responsibilities of managers and their impact on salary are relevant and insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Salary disparities
  • Executive compensation
  • Labor market
  • Corporate hierarchy
  • Performance-based bonuses
  • Shareholder value
  • Economic stratification
  • Income gap
  • Profit reinvestment
  • Employee morale
  • Fiduciary responsibility
  • Corporate governance
  • Economic equity
  • Financial incentives
  • Cost-benefit analysis
  • Minimum wage
  • Living wage
  • Organizational culture
  • Pay scale
  • Compensation package
What to do next:
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