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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at art institution or organization as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages

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Volunteers or unpaid interns are sometimes a compulsory
parts
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part
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 of
the
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apply
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education in college or university. Admittedly, there are positive sides, but the negative effects should not be neglected. First of all, the jobs provide them with the opportunities
o
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to
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 learn about practical skills. In the classes, students can only read
betwen
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between
 lines,
learn
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and learn
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 about other people's cases but lack practical experiences in designing and operating. After working in
the
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a
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 collaborative atmosphere, they can put themselves in other people's shoes,
learn
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and learn
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 to balance the profits of
designer
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designers
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, customers and companies.
Then
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, they are capable to develop their systematic learning method and refine their knowledge.
However
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, for those who are burdened with the daily
expense
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expenses
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 and tuition
fee
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fees
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, unpaid work is disastrous. As the children are over
18-year-old
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18 years old
, most of them earn
themselves
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apply
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a living
instead
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 of asking
the
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their
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 parents for money.
Therefore
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, in their spare time, they usually do some
part time
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part-time
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works
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work
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 to earn themselves a living. If the students are not able to pay enough
efforts
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effort
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 and spend enough time on the jobs which are paid,
then
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 they will lose the
incomes
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income
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 to support themselves. In the long run, poverty and depression cannot be avoided. They may even drop out of school. All in all, by combining accessible training with supportive policies, that will benefit the students.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples. For instance, you could provide a specific scenario that illustrates how unpaid internships can lead to personal hardships.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity of your thesis statement in the introduction to precisely outline the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Include clearer transitions between your points to enhance the flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, which is critical for this task type. Your awareness of both sides of the argument shows balanced thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding statement summarizes the essay well, suggesting a thoughtful approach to the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid internship
  • practical experience
  • theoretical knowledge
  • enhance resumes
  • employability
  • networking opportunities
  • art industry
  • financial burden
  • exploitative environment
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • quality of work
  • learning experience
  • inequalities
  • remuneration
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