IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Essay Question 14: Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does the plastic do to the environment? What can be done by the government and individuals to solve the problem?

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Non-biodegradable
waste
Use synonyms
 has become a serious threat to the world in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 five decades. In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch, it has been reckoned by experts that
plastic
Use synonyms
 litter,
such
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 as
bags
Use synonyms
, bottles and packaging are extremely dangerous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate the harm done by it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and will share the steps that government and people can take to solve the problem in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
plastic
Use synonyms
waste
Use synonyms
 causes
water
Use synonyms
 pollution. To expound, the discarded shopping
bags
Use synonyms
, soft drink bottles and gift packaging sheets
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 dumped into landfills from where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 find
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 way
in
Change preposition
into
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water
Use synonyms
 streams,
such
Linking Words
 as lakes and oceans. It not only makes the
water
Use synonyms
 unfit to be used but
also
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 gets ingested by marine life, like sharks and whales, and causes disease and death. To exemplify, only 52% of the total
water
Use synonyms
 on earth is fit for consumption in 2022 as compared to 76% in 2000, which leads to
death
Correct article usage
the death
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 of 76000
water
Use synonyms
 organisms
due to
Linking Words
plastic
Use synonyms
 ingestion every year.
Hence
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, the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 example justifies the danger of
plastic
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 to the environment.  To combat
this
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 problem,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should ban
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of
plastic
Use synonyms
while
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 individuals ought to think of its alternatives which are
ecofriendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
show examples
.
In other words
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, if the ruling party puts a blanket ban on the use of non-degradable material, the amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 will
also
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reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
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 substantially, which can help the
waste
Use synonyms
 management bodies to do their task efficiently.
In addition
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 to it, masses should replace
plastic
Use synonyms
 items with paper or fabric
bags
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, paper straws and degradable packaging sheets. They should make a considerable effort to buy and use alternatives in order to save the environment. To cite an example, in India , the leaders banned
plastic
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 in 2019 which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 people to come up with innovative ideas of using jute
bags
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 and straws made of banana leaves.
Thus
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, the aforementioned ways vividly
justifies
Change the verb form
justify
show examples
 what efforts are needed to make Earth a better place to live in. To recapitulate, as
plastic
Use synonyms
 litter doesn’t
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decomposed
Wrong verb form
decompose
show examples
 even for hundreds of years, it is causing harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature excessively. Thousands of sea creatures are losing their life because of it, which can be dealt
with
Change preposition
with with
show examples
 little efforts of government and conscious buying by citizens.

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task achievement
Ensure that the examples directly support the points being made for clearer argumentation. Also, consider expanding on how alternatives to plastic could be implemented better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure for improved pacing and readability. Including more transitional phrases can enhance flow between ideas.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay, setting a good foundation for the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments made in the essay, providing a clear ending.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • plastic pollution
  • wildlife
  • marine life
  • decompose
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • waterways
  • flooding
  • soil
  • groundwater
  • government regulations
  • single-use plastics
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • plastic consumption
  • recycle
  • dispose of
What to do next:
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