overfishing of the world's oceans threatens many species with extinction and is putting the livelihood of millions of people around the world at risk. what are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Fish
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has long been considered as the major
food
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suppy
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supply
for
human
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humans
show examples
.
This
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has brought
noticeable
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a noticeable
show examples
reduction in
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number
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a number
the number
show examples
of
fish
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in the ocean and some
fish
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species have even gone
exstinted
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extinct
because people have overused
this
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food
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resource so much.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine the causes
ivolved
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involved
evolved
in
fish
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reduction and
exstinction
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extinction
; and
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, and
;
show examples
provide effective and practical solutions to combat
with
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apply
show examples
the problems caused. There are
numberous
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numerous
causes that can put the level of
fish
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at risk. One of the most significant factors is the increased
demand
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for
fish
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as
food
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suppy
Correct your spelling
supply
as a result
Linking Words
of the growth in population, leading to high
demand
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for
food
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supply including meat,
vegetable
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vegetables
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and especially
fish
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. On top of
this
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, a huge
number
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of companies
uses
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use
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harmful methods in order to meet
this
Linking Words
high
demand
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for
fish
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.
Furthermore
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,
fish
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are
serverely
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severely
endangered on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account of illegal fishing.
This
Linking Words
involves
in
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apply
show examples
using explosive substances, electricity to harvest more
fish
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; and
in
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apply
show examples
fishing during
reproductive
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the reproductive
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season of
fish
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, leading to
massive
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a massive
the massive
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reduction in
fish
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eggs that will ultimately become adult
fish
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.
However
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,
there’re
Correct your spelling
there are
show examples
some effective measures that can be taken to prevent more loss in
fish
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Use synonyms
number
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numbers
show examples
.
Firstly
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, it is recommended to reduce
global
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the global
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population by having more people educated about birth control and having a strict rule regarding the
number
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of babies each family can have.
Secondly
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, it is speculated to be practical if
expensive
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an expensive
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tax is put on
fish
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as it can reduce fishing companies’ interest.
Last
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but not least, strict
law
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laws
show examples
regarding the ways people use to
fish
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should be implemented and enforced.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that
fish
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level
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levels
show examples
are in danger
due to
Linking Words
demand
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for
fish
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increases and illegal fishing isn’t kept in check. If
solutions
Correct article usage
the solutions
show examples
discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay are put
in to
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into
show examples
practice, I am
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
that
fish
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will have the opportunity to repopulate and won’t meet extinction.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main points by providing more specific examples and details to support your arguments regarding the causes of overfishing and potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring a logical flow between paragraphs. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to fix minor spelling mistakes and grammatical errors that can detract from the overall professionalism of your writing.
You have identified relevant causes of overfishing, such as increased demand and illegal fishing, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, indicating a good attempt to organize your thoughts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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