IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
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The diagrams illustrate the amount of Australia's trading activities with various countries including China,
Japan
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 and the US that happened between 2004 to 2009. The number of trading
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 is presented into two categories: export and import.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that Australia has been busy with their exports and imports activity,
underwent
Correct word choice
and underwent
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 massive growth with their outsourcing in various countries except for
Japan
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,
while
Linking Words
 insourcing was steadily growing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of exports that were made from 2004 to 2007 showed a surge in the value of
trade
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, where it increased by 10
billion
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 dollars in China and
Japan
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,
while
Linking Words
 the US at the same amount. The
trade
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 rose drastically from 2007 to 2008 in all countries, where the export value with
Japan
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 grew by more than 10
billion
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 alone
,
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apply
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 before it declined back to 30
billion
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 in
Japan
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. On a similar note, Australia's import activity
also
Linking Words
 experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
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modest growth from 2004 to 2007, where
trade
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 with China recorded inclines from around 10
billion
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 to 30
billion
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 worth of
trade
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 value. The import activity
also
Linking Words
 experienced a decline from 2007 to 2008 before it declined in 2008.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, trade, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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