more and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? is it a positive or negative trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing number of
adults
Use synonyms
play video
games
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
technological advancements in the gaming
industry
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, It is a positive development because it has opened up new
opportunities
Use synonyms
for people to earn
money
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, there is a rise in
adults
Use synonyms
playing computer
games
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
Counter-strike and Call of Duty. The reason behind it is the technological revolution in the gaming
industry
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, better graphic cards and computers with better RAM.
This
Linking Words
has led to
games
Use synonyms
being more ,realistic, and appealing for
adults
Use synonyms
around the world and not just children.
According to
Linking Words
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
, there is an increase of 30% in
adults
Use synonyms
playing computer
games
Use synonyms
. I believe it is a positive development. In today's era where it is very difficult to find a job, Gaming opens up new
opportunities
Use synonyms
that help them earn
money
Use synonyms
. The gaming
industry
Use synonyms
has opened up new job
opportunities
Use synonyms
across the world for developing and testing
games
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are international competitions taking place in different cities around the globe. Winners are usually awarded a good amount of prize
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the increase in the number of
adults
Use synonyms
playing video
games
Use synonyms
is
due to
Linking Words
the technological development in the gaming
industry
Use synonyms
which leads to
games
Use synonyms
being more interesting and realistic. It is a positive trend because it opens up
opportunities
Use synonyms
for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to earn
money
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples or statistics to support your claims about the gaming industry's growth and the opportunities it creates.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your ideas. For instance, linking the technological advancements directly to specific examples of opportunities in gaming can strengthen coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you maintain consistency in your language use (e.g., avoid the unnecessary comma in 'more ,realistic,').
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the trend and your opinion on it, making your position clear from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • stress relief
  • multiplayer games
  • online communities
  • cognitive challenges
  • mental stimulation
  • e-sports
  • socially acceptable
  • prestigious
  • purchasing power
  • sophisticated games
  • escapism
  • accessible
  • advertisements
  • adult demographics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: