In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the goverment has t pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the gorvernment or the family? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the present days,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there

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are more
eldely
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elderly

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people
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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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before.
As my
Correct word choice
My

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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

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and
knowledge
Add a comma
knowledge,

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it
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apply

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need
Change the verb form
needs

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb need are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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to
depand
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depend

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on the situation to get
grand
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grant

The word grand doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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from the
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Use synonyms

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gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government

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to
subsities
Correct your spelling
subsidies

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for the
nurseing
Correct your spelling
nursing

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home.
Firtsly
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Firstly

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, if they
from
Add a missing verb
are from

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really
Correct article usage
a really

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whealty
Correct your spelling
wealthy
healthy

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family
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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should pay for their own or get half of the pay from
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government

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, it will
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
demand

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of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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they
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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fund
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, for sure that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

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eligable
Correct your spelling
eligible

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for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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cannot even substant their normal life activities or food. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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depands
Correct your spelling
depends

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on the situation that they need the most for the old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Sometimes, it
depands
Correct your spelling
depends

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of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation

It seems that situations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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if the old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are came
Wrong verb form
come

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are came. Consider changing it.

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from
extremly whealty
Correct your spelling
extremely wealthy

The words extremly whealty seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

family
Fix the agreement mistake
families

It seems that family may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, is better to give up the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government

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fund
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
another humans
Replace the adjective
another human
other humans

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun humans. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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that needed the most and that
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can help
lifted
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lift

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lifted. Consider changing it.

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our
contry
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country

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economy.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some family members of the
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly

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asked
Wrong verb form
ask

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb asked. Consider changing it.

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for extra care
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as,
need
Wrong verb form
needing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb need. Consider changing it.

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more nurses or extra hospitality, they absolutely need to pay extra for it,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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will not allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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get the extra
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds

It seems that fund may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
from the state.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
governments

If you don’t want gorvernment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to ensure that they
granded
Correct your spelling
grant

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the
fund
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
been work
Change the verb form
work

It appears that the form of the verb work does not work with been in this sentence.

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hard and
paid
Wrong verb form
pay

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb paid. Consider changing it.

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taxes until
their
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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retired
Wrong verb form
retire

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb retired. Consider changing it.

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but still need help from the state
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government

If you don’t want gorvernment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Special for the old
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that not have any family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members

It seems that member may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in their life to help them up, give them
an
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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absolutely
Change the adverb
absolute

It appears that the adverb absolutely is attempting to modify the noun support. Consider replacing the adverb with an adjective.

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support they need the most. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion

It seems that conclusions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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absolutely
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
depend

If you don’t want depands to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation

It seems that situations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Addtional
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional

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, the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government

If you don’t want gorvernment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to have a group of smart and
intelegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent

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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers

It seems that worker may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
figure-out
Correct your spelling
figure out

The word figure-out doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the problem that which
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly

If you don’t want eldely to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
the
fund
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the most.

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coherence and cohesion
Improving the logical flow of your ideas will help enhance coherence. Try using more cohesive devices to connect your thoughts clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
content
You have made an effort to address a complex topic and present differing perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • elder care
  • financially strained
  • accessible
  • social contract
  • standardization of care
  • vulnerable populations
  • economies of scale
  • collectively
  • government structures
  • care facilities
  • taxation
  • ethical responsibility
  • familial conflicts
  • consistent care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: