IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the goverment has t pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the gorvernment or the family? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the present days,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are more
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 before.
As my
Correct word choice
My
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and
knowledge
Add a comma
knowledge,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
 on the situation to get
grand
Correct your spelling
grant
show examples
 from the
Use synonyms
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
 to
subsities
Correct your spelling
subsidies
 for the
nurseing
Correct your spelling
nursing
 home.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, if they
from
Add a missing verb
are from
show examples
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
whealty
Correct your spelling
wealthy
healthy
 family
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should pay for their own or get half of the pay from
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, it will
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
demand
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
fund
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, for sure that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
eligable
Correct your spelling
eligible
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 cannot even substant their normal life activities or food. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
 on the situation that they need the most for the old
people
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, it
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
 if the old
people
Use synonyms
are came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from
extremly whealty
Correct your spelling
extremely wealthy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, is better to give up the
Use synonyms
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
fund
Use synonyms
 for
another humans
Replace the adjective
another human
other humans
show examples
 that needed the most and that
also
Linking Words
 can help
lifted
Change the form of the verb
lift
show examples
 our
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 economy.
However
Linking Words
, some family members of the
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly
asked
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
 for extra care
such
Linking Words
 as,
need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
 more nurses or extra hospitality, they absolutely need to pay extra for it,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will not allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 get the extra
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 from the state.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to ensure that they
granded
Correct your spelling
grant
 the
fund
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the old
people
Use synonyms
 that
been work
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 hard and
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 taxes until
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
retired
Wrong verb form
retire
show examples
 but still need help from the state
Use synonyms
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
. Special for the old
people
Use synonyms
 that not have any family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 in their life to help them up, give them
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
absolutely
Change the adverb
absolute
show examples
 support they need the most. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
absolutely
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
depend
 on the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
.
Addtional
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
, the
Use synonyms
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to have a group of smart and
intelegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 to
figure-out
Correct your spelling
figure out
show examples
 the problem that which
eldely
Correct your spelling
elderly
 need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fund
Use synonyms
 the most.

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coherence and cohesion
Improving the logical flow of your ideas will help enhance coherence. Try using more cohesive devices to connect your thoughts clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
content
You have made an effort to address a complex topic and present differing perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • elder care
  • financially strained
  • accessible
  • social contract
  • standardization of care
  • vulnerable populations
  • economies of scale
  • collectively
  • government structures
  • care facilities
  • taxation
  • ethical responsibility
  • familial conflicts
  • consistent care
What to do next:
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