IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school, while others think other subjects should be taught later. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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To commence with the first view, the first and foremost is learning capacity at its peak.
In other words
Linking Words
, when a child tries to learn any
language
Use synonyms
, he/she learns effortlessly
due to
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 fewer ties in childhood as compared to adulthood.
For example
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, a survey conducted by WSF
Language
Use synonyms
 Learning revealed that pupils who belonged to an early age group performed better than the later ones.
As a result
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, beforehand, it is always better
for acquiring
Change preposition
to acquire
show examples
 any
language
Use synonyms
. Shifting towards the latter view, the predominant point is less confusion about the mother and grammatical rules. To explain it more, in the later period, students are mature enough to learn and understand the different grammar rules of multiple languages. Not only
this
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, but older learners
also
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 understand the importance of learning multilingual better than little ones,
such
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 as academic or career-related goals. To frame an outline, a news article was published in a famous newspaper, RBS, in 2023, which showed that
language
Use synonyms
 learning in later years is better because they have a purpose for learning and can understand better without confusion.
Thus
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, adulthood is better
to experiment
Change preposition
for experimenting
show examples
 with different languages. In conclusion,
although
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 pupils have more insight and great curiosity about
language
Use synonyms
 learning,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that the cognitive ability of childhood makes it suitable to become bilingual

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coherence and cohesion
While the overall structure is clear, consider adding more explicit linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument. For instance, using phrases like 'On the one hand...' and 'On the other hand...' could enhance coherence.
task achievement
You could elaborate more on the points made in your second view. Providing specific examples or studies to support your claims about older learners being more purposeful can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, but you might want to mention the implications of your viewpoint or suggest how both approaches can coexist.
structure
Your introduction clearly presents the two views, which is an essential part of the task. This sets the stage for a balanced discussion.
content
You have provided a reasonable amount of detail in discussing both views, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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