Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while others think it should be the responsibility of individuals.

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this

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essay I will be talking about the increase in the number of obese

people

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and who should take responsibility. The governments or the individuals themselves. I will discuss both sides, offer general solutions and sum it up

at the end

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. The first point is that governments should be held accountable for the obesity of their citizens. The biggest issue is that many companies in the food or entertainment industries thrive from their clients’ compulsive consumption of food or content. The products are specifically designed to make

people

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want to eat,

watch

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and watch

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more and more. There is money to be made in the weakness of regular

people

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. The solution could be for the government to step in and put out certain health and food regulations that would force these companies to “fix” their foods or products, but I don't think that

this

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is a realistic solution and that governments would do

this

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very willingly. The second point is that obese

people

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are responsible for their own

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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. Of

course

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course,

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big industries try to get their customers addicted to many unhealthy things, but if the person cannot resist the urge to overcome it

then

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it becomes their

problem

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as well. These

people

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could seek out professional help: psychotherapy, physical therapy or even surgery. That could help to get rid of the need to mindlessly consume and negate the effects of consumption. Another side of

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problem

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is children. As of today even in our

country

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country,

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the rise in obesity is worrying and it isn’t the

childrens’

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children’s

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fault. It’s the lack of proper parenting,

supervision

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and supervision

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at daycare or schools. In conclusion, I think that the companies are responsible for creating

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problem

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but the obese

people

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are responsible for not resisting it, not seeking out help.

oimigleThu Mar 13 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Provide clearer transitions between points and use connecting phrases to improve the flow of ideas.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in supporting your main points.

coherence and cohesion

Clarify and refine your introduction to make it clear that you will discuss both perspectives before stating your view at the end.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument thoughtfully.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument, reiterating the main points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
responsibility
government intervention
public health
individual choices
lifestyle habits
health education
food environment
socioeconomic factors
nutrition awareness
unhealthy eating
caloric intake
dietary guidelines
personal accountability
cultural influences
advertising impact
community resources

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Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while others think it should be the responsibility of individuals.

Fully explain your ideas

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Tests and examinations are a central feature of school systems in many countries. Do you thinnk the educational benefits of testing outway any disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that school should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extend do you agree?

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?