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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
The diagram illustrates the
water
Use synonyms
 cycle
process
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 which is
movement
Add an article
the movement
a movement
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 of
water
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.
Minaly
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Mainly
 3 stages - evaporation,condensation and precipitation. It demonstrates how
water
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 moves and changes in different states in a natural, endless loop. The
process
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 begins with evaporation, where heat from the sun causes
water
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 from the ocean to turn into
water
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vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram, approximately 80% of
this
Linking Words
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
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 originates from the ocean. The
vapor
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vapour
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 rises into the atmosphere, where it cools and condenses into clouds — a
process
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 known as condensation. Once the clouds form into heavy heavy particles,
water
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 returns to the Earth in the form of precipitation,
such
Linking Words
 as rain,snow or hail. Some of
this
Linking Words
water
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 flows over the ground as surface runoff, returning to oceans and lakes,
while
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 some infiltrates into the ground and becomes groundwater. Groundwater can
also
Linking Words
 seep back into oceans over time.
This
Linking Words
 entire
process
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 is a closed system, meaning that no
water
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 is added or lost — it simply moves through different stages continuously and repeatedly.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moves" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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