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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the average level of monthly temperatures in three major cities,
whereas
Linking Words
 the table depicts the number of hours of sunshine there.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the warmest period of the year in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 lasts from May until September, as opposed to
Sydney
Use synonyms
 where these months are coldest.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
, sunny days are much more common compared to
London
Use synonyms
. Focusing first on the average monthly temperatures, in New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
, they are between 5 and 20
degrees
Use synonyms
 from January to May,
while
Linking Words
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 figure is at the level of 20 to 25
degrees
Use synonyms
. Starting from May until September, New
York
Use synonyms
 becomes the hottest city, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 temperature of 20 to 30
degrees
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
London
Use synonyms
 it is approximately 5
degrees
Use synonyms
 lower. Notably, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the temperature
droppes
Correct your spelling
dropped
 throughout
this
Linking Words
 period to the level of 15 to 20
degrees
Use synonyms
. From October, the weather starts to deteriorate in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
, as opposed to
Sydney
Use synonyms
, where the situation is getting better. By December, all figures reach their initial levels. As for the duration of the sunny period of the day during the year, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
, the number of hours is between 2,473 and 2,535,
while
Linking Words
 for
London
Use synonyms
, the proportion of hours of sunshine is roughly half as much.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, sydney, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • temperature
  • sunshine
  • monthly
  • annual
  • comparison
  • characteristics
  • detailed analysis
  • highest
  • lowest
  • examination
  • relationship
  • illustrate
  • patterns
  • rainfall
  • climate
  • considerable variation
  • significantly
  • notable
  • data representation
  • regional differences
  • yearly averages
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