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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course.The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the informatiob by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course.The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the informatiob by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie graph demonstrates what is the position of Anthropology graduates from one university,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates
incomes
Correct article usage
the incomes
show examples
 of workers who
graduates
Wrong verb form
graduated
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 Anthropology after working
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 5 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is noticeable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the highest indicator belongs to full-time work,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest one is who selects part-time work plus postgrad study,
while
Linking Words
 the highest income belongs to
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 sector and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 is private companies.
Firstly
Linking Words
,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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