Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from travelling by air. Discuss both sides an give your own opinion. (Khalil)

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Some individuals believe that
air
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trips
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with low prices ought to be stimulated, as
this
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step creates passion in
people
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's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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to
travel
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a lot. There is another society
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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has different opinions and assumes that these journeys
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
ecological issues,
therefore
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flight
travel
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should be less affordable to reduce
people
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's
air
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travel
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demand. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both of these thoughts and share my opinion on
this
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situation. On one hand, budget-friendly aviation
travel
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may be stimulated to increase the number of
people
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who want to trip by
air
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. In
this
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world transportation is a significant factor for humans' welfare. Conditions of travelling are
also
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very important to encourage
people
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toward
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
travel
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further
Linking Words
. If flights by
air
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transportation
such
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as planes, helicopters, and jets are more inexpensive,
then
Linking Words
we can definitely notice a lot of skyway
travel
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.
For example
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,
air
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trips
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in Australia increased by 57% because of the ticket prices being reduced by half.
On the other hand
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, flights are a reason for eco-related concerns
although
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these travels are more effective for our relaxing. Passengers are happy about
air
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journeys, but these travels
also
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impact our environment negatively because of their dirty smoke. there is not any effective technology which can prevent polluted
air
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yet, so decreasing
number
Correct article usage
the number
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of
air
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transports may be effective for our nature.
For instance
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, Argentina was suffering
due to
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an unclean atmosphere,
therefore
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this
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country arranged some restrictions like price increases. From my perspective, both sides have meaningful reasons for themselves. Skyway
trips
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are effective in terms of time, and comfort with low prices they
also
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have harmful effects on our environment, so costly
trips
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are suitable for diminishing them. Ideally,
people
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may use flights without using them regularly. In conclusion, journeys in the sky have negative and positive effects on different areas. The key factor is using them balanced to not cause any important problems.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to make your position on the topic more explicit.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains clear topic sentences that directly relate to the main question. This will improve the logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Revise phrases like 'this step creates passion in people's mind' to sound more natural, such as 'this step inspires people to travel more'.
task achievement
You've provided specific examples to support your points, which is crucial for a good score.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for each side of the argument and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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