IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart below shows the US top 10 processed food export markets for last year and six years ago

The bar chart below shows the US top 10 processed food export markets for last year and six years ago
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Employees and self-employed: by sex and occupation, 1992. The two pie charts illustrate some work patterns in Great Britain in 1992. The charts show how many people had manual and non-manual jobs compared to
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the overwhelming majority of men in managerial and professional work
Add a missing verb
are
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thirty-six in comparison with
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in Great Britain. The figures were 36 per
cent
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 and
twenty-nine
Correct your spelling
29
 per
cent
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 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only three per
cent
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 of female workers were employed
craft
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in craft
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 and similar
works
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work
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whereas
Linking Words
,
male
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males
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 category
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a hefty 24 per
cent
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. Meanwhile, female and male workers were employed
with
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in
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 other manual works, the number of employment was similar twenty-seven and 26 per
cent
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. Nearly a third of
female
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females
show examples
 engaged
manual
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in manual
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 jobs like clerical or related work thirty-one per
cent
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 and a tiny majority of male workers. As can be seen in the pie chart
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
male
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males
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 had manual jobs than
female
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females
show examples
.
Female
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Females
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 were engaged
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 non-manual
works
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work
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 over 75 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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