IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that a significant difference between a parent’s age and their child's age is a good thing. Do you think the advantages of a significant age gap outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More and more people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
having a huge different
age
Use synonyms
 between a
parents
Use synonyms
 and their
children
Use synonyms
 is a great thing.In
mi
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 opinion,I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,and I believe that being
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same generation with your
children
Use synonyms
 is really essential for two reasons. First
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 all,I consider that the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of the
parents
Use synonyms
 and their
children
Use synonyms
 must be around 20 years.in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 understanding your
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 generation will help you to face the problems.In fact,if there is any issue with your child you will understand what
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 and you will be able to solve the problem.
Although
Linking Words
 you will feel mad ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
 you can control yourself.A study published
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 New York
university
Capitalize word
University
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 in 1991
it is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 who have the same generation
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 have a good life without any problems.
As a result
Linking Words
,a small
age
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 between the
children
Use synonyms
 and
Correct your spelling
their
thir
Correct your spelling
their
parents
Use synonyms
 is really important
Secondly
Linking Words
,the
children
Use synonyms
 will be more comfortable with their
parents
Use synonyms
 because they
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 their
parents
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 as their
friends
Use synonyms
 .In fact,they will prefer saying everything to their
parents
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of their
friends
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,they will believe that spending time with their family is better than their
friends
Use synonyms
,and that will protect them sometimes from bad
friends
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,My sister and her daughter
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a small gap between their ages,
As a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are close to each other ,so her daughter
tell
Change the verb form
tells
show examples
 my sister everything
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
show examples
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
 in her life. Having a similar
age
Use synonyms
 between a
Use synonyms
parents
Change noun form
parent's
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 and their
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 is
beniftial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for both.

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction more clearly. Ensure that your thesis statement is direct and directly responds to the question.
coherence
Use more cohesive devices such as transitions ('however', 'furthermore', 'for instance') to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Elaborate slightly more on your examples and make sure that each point is explicitly linked back to the main argument.
task accomplishment
The essay presents a clear opinion against the idea of a significant age gap, which is a good start for task achievement.
specific example
You have provided personal examples which help in illustrating your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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