some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

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Some argue that it is important to accept a negative circumstance we come across,

whereas

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others emphasize that seeking solutions for

such

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problems

Use synonyms

This

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essay discusses both viewpoints and why I side with the problem-solving approach which is stronger and yields better results. There are two main reasons why some individuals are willing to

be accepting of

Wrong verb form

show examples

bad circumstances.

Firstly

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, they assume some occurrences are unavoidable and consider them

Change preposition

apply

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a waste of time,

therefore

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, they do not spend their precious time on them.

For example

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, if the company one is working in goes bankrupt and the workforce is being cut down, employees must accept and look for their new job sooner as all other workers have the same problem.

Additionally

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, constantly imposing stress may yield

further

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mental illnesses and prevent them from maintaining their well-being for their future roles.

However

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, others including me believe that having a proactive attitude to solve

problems

Use synonyms

is a stronger approach toward

problems

Use synonyms

. The main benefit of

this

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viewpoint is that in some cases brainstorming to find possible solutions motivates us to move even

further

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For instance

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, in developing countries basic programmers in IT companies may only find positions seasonally,

hence

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coming up with new management ideas may upgrade them to the management department rather than struggling with the current job shortage.

Furthermore

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problem-solving

Correct article usage

a problem-solving

show examples

mentality trains one's brain

for believing

Change preposition

to believe

show examples

in their abilities and

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a sense of empowerment to solve

further

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dilemmas. In conclusion, Both sides of the argument have merits,

however

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, I believe that trying to overcome

problems

Use synonyms

increases the likelihood of finding solutions

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hence

Correct word choice

and hence

show examples

maintains

self-confidence

Correct article usage

the self-confidence

show examples

of the individual.

This

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is absolutely more important than accepting

problems

Use synonyms

which only saves time and avoids stress at any cost

nargesamin0Fri Mar 14 2025

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Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear argument but could better reflect the complexity of the issue. You might also consider discussing the implications of failing to accept bad situations or the potential risks of pursuing an improvement without readiness. This could provide a more nuanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your structure is generally clear, try to ensure that each paragraph directly supports your main argument. There are a few areas where the connection between points could be articulated more clearly. For instance, you might clarify how the examples directly relate to the argument.

Task Achievement

Your examples are relevant but sometimes lack specificity. For instance, instead of saying 'basic programmers in IT companies', you might provide a specific example or scenario that illustrates the point better.

Task Achievement

You've successfully presented and developed both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the essay prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The use of transition phrases helps in guiding the reader through your argument, contributing to the overall coherence of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing your main argument nicely.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

Your opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sports, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.