IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
Linking Words
 new era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist spots are getting more popular in every country which helps the economy to grow. There are many visiting
places
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are not in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good condition,
such
Linking Words
as-
Correct your spelling
as
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Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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 desert and so on. In the coming
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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 we will discuss
about
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apply
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the advantages and disadvantages for visitors. First of all, there are
number
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a number
the number
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 of benefits to
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
places
Use synonyms
 in a different city or country, like- the historical
places
Use synonyms
 are quite interesting
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 to collect
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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 about history.
Secondly
Linking Words
, you can explore the difference of culture and food of another nation
while
Linking Words
 travelling.
For instance
Linking Words
- my friend went to India with me
last
Linking Words
 year, that was her first visit to India. She felt so
overwelmed
Correct your spelling
overwhelmed
 over there and she was excited to
had
Change the verb
have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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authentic food and saw that we have more than 100 languages in one country. There are some drawbacks as well when you
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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 some bad happenings during travel to various tourist spots.
Initially
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, when we saw the reality of a place which is totally opposite from what we
expect
Wrong verb form
expected
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 from the pictures
of
Change preposition
apply
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that
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 really disappointing.
Moreover
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,
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
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 visitors
would
Verb problem
are
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 not able to see the place because of restricted time limits which are not provided on their website or other platforms of information.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, medical facilities are not available nearby,
for example
Linking Words
- when I went to
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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 desert my health was not well because of
harsh
Correct article usage
the harsh
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 weather and I did not find even a single medical store to buy
a
Remove the article
apply
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medicine. in conclusion, exploring
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new place
new places
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places
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dream come true situation for everyone during the busy lifestyle nowadays. Everything has its own pros and cons, So just be prepared for it in advice.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, I think as a citizen it
our
Add a missing verb
is our
show examples
 responsibility to keep our historical and visiting
places
Use synonyms
 well developed by providing some contribution.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by organizing the points in a more systematic way, possibly using clear linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides sufficient support and development for that idea.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate the benefits and disadvantages you mention, which would enhance your argument.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on the conclusion to summarize your main points and reinforce your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have identified both benefits and disadvantages, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience adds authenticity to your essay, making it more engaging.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
What to do next:
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