IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Human activities have negative affects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both both views and give your opinion.

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It is said that people have destroyed the planet Earth significantly.
While
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 it is a common thought that
the
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nature can no longer be restored
due to
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 selfish characteristics, many argue that
such
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 methods as building conservation areas and sustaining genes can create a positive impact. I strongly agree with the second opinion because plants and animals only need appropriate habitats and food to thrive again. On the one hand, preserving and reproducing species play a vital role in maintaining
the
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biodiversity.
In other words
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, restricting lands from humans' agriculture and hunting activities might facilitate plants to grow and animals to survive
instinctly
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instinctively
.
Besides
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, keeping and implanting genes can help endangered species to be reborn when their environments are fully rebuilt and their survival conditions are ensured again.
For instance
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, many conservation areas in Africa assist in keeping wild chimpanzees and lions away from local hunters, and scientific European institutions store plentiful
newbornes
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newborns
 to reproduce different trees when appropriate.
Therefore
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, there are many effective solutions to the future lack of species.
On the other hand
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, many people argue that human beings have a too big self-interest to restore the biodiversity. In recognition of their own economic interests, they might pay no attention to environmental campaigns.
However
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, if they are aware that they might be fined for destructive actions, they will agree with others' efforts to conserve
the
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nature.
For example
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, when
Vietnamese
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the Vietnamese
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 government imprisoned illegal poachers, the level of deforestation
had
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was
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 reduced dramatically. In conclusion, it is never too late to preserve and reproduce plants and animals because they only need habitats and food to develop again. Irrespective of difficulties when people prefer their own business to environmental benefits, penalties can help them acknowledge which activities cause no balance to
the
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nature.

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task achievement
Ensure both views are balanced and presented equally. The argument for taking action against biodiversity loss could be further developed to provide a more symmetrical discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Make transitions between ideas smoother. Consider using linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas from one to another within paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Be consistent with terminology. Use 'reproducing' instead of 'reproducing species' for clearer understanding and avoid redundancy in your points.
positive
The essay presents a strong argument for conservation and highlights specific measures like conservation areas effectively.
positive
The use of examples, such as Vietnam's approach to poaching, provides solid evidence to support arguments.
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