IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often said, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”. Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they visit? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

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According to
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 the title "
when
Capitalize word
When
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 in Rome, do as the Romans do", I rather agree with
this
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statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 than disagree, since
due to
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current
Correct article usage
the current
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 situation in the world we
hit
Add a missing verb
are hit
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 with the mixing of the cultures that are well established and have
it's
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their
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 own history. When you
visit
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 country or another
culture
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, you are there, first of all, to see what are the difference
bettwen
Correct your spelling
between
 your worldview and the
place
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 you
visit
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, to adopt new information, get more ideas, not to spread your
culture
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. That may vary if that was the main purpose of your
visit
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,
however
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, we will talk about the general visiting for a vacation.
Ussually
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Usually
, when you
visit
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 the
place
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 you meet with the basic knowledge
that is
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 available to you, like
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place
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a place
the place
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 to stay, places to
visit
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, etc. At
this
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 point, the great idea would be to
also
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 check some basic knowledge about
people
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 and their manners. What is considered
as
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apply
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vulgar activity in the local
place
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, what is
totaly
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totally
 normal, etc. If we take Japan as an example, drinking is a part of the
culture
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 there,
while
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 in Ukraine we may be very strict
to
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with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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drunk
people
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, in Japan it is
totaly
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totally
 normal to
lay
Wrong verb form
lie
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 down drunk on the street after
Correct article usage
a buisness
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buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 meeting. Reporting it to the police may be considered
as
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apply
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a rude act. Another good example, teaching
people
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 in Italy how to make a proper pizza, would not
recommend
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recommend it
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! So I would rather say that if you
visit
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 other countries, better to observe and learn what you see
around
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around you
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, not to
try
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try to
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 teach
people
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. With regard to
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language
Add a comma
language,
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 I would say that it is more than half of the
culture
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 is basically in the
language
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.
On
Change the preposition
In
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 my opinion it is easy to understand if you dig down to your own
language
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as
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apply
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Ukrainian
for example
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,
while
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 some of the words may be funny for different regions, it has the same
sence
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sense
,
replicates
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replicate
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 something that can
bound
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bind
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people
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 together,
language
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 is some type of the hidden treasure of the
culture
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. To
summ
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sum
 up, when you
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
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 another country, you should accept and adapt
Change preposition
to a
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a
Correct article usage
the
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culture
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 of the palace you
visit
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, you have your own ideas and can make conclusions without comments. If there option to learn another
language
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 and you like it, go for it, it would be
an
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a
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fabalous
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fabulous
 journey, and there
no
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is no
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 better experience as to speack on local
language
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 at some
amaizing
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amazing
place
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.

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic and outlining your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and connections between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to improve the overall professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the cultural differences between Japan and Ukraine.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main ideas well and reiterates your opinion on the importance of adopting local culture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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