Some people believe that getting a degree from a university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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More and more
people
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think that having a certificate from a
university
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is the best method to guarantee a good
job
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.
However
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, others argue that
job
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owners appreciate
job
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experience
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more than an academic
degree
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. In my opinion, I believe that both views are equally important. On the one hand, it is believed by some
people
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that the only thing that guarantees your future career is to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
university
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and get a higher
degree
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. In fact, an academic
degree
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will open the way for you to get a
job
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in
companies
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.
In addition
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, when you have an academic
degree
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, you can open your own business. A study published
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
New York
University
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concluded that 90% of those who have an academic
degree
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find jobs directly after graduation.
Therefore
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, an academic
degree
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is really important to get employed.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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argue that
companies
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give more importance to work
experience
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than academic degrees.
Furthermore
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, an experienced employee can save a lot of time and bring more profit to the employers.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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my elder brother is a mechanic and has
experience
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in fixing cars. He always gets good offers and salaries for
cars’
Change noun form
cars
show examples
companies
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,
while
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my cousin is a mechanical engineer, and he finds it difficult to get a
job
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.
As a result
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, having
job
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experience
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is more important than academic degrees. It is believed by some
people
Use synonyms
that a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
is a basic requirement to get a
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others disagree and say that
companies
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prefer experienced applicants. In my opinion, I believe there is no single way to get a
job
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. An academic
degree
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along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
experience
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guarantees you a good
job
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the main argument and flows smoothly into the next.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and variety in expression.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that acknowledges both sides of the argument, which enhances the overall structure.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like your brother and cousin, adds a personal touch and relevance to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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