IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best way for students to prepare for their future careers. Others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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According to
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 some
people
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people,
show examples
 the best way for
students
Use synonyms
 to prepare for their future
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career
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careers
show examples
 is through colleges and universities whilst some believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should leave schools as soon as possible to develop their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 through
work
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experience
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. Universities and
collages
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colleges
show examples
 often provide access to resources
such
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 as
libraires
Correct your spelling
libraries
, laboratories and experienced faculty for
students
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 to have a deeper understanding of their chosen field.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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formal education
also
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 provides a well-rounded academic foundation, which can be essential for some professions.
On the other hand
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, dropping out of
schools
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school
show examples
 enables
students
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 to avail the
oppourtunity
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opportunity
 to gain practical
experience
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 in their chosen field allowing them to start to earn a decent income at a young age.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
students
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 can make more informed judgements as real-world
experience
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 helps individuals to understand their
career
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 goals better as they are exposed to actual working conditions and
industries
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industry
show examples
 demands. Individuals have an easier time preparing for their future as universities and
collages
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colleges
show examples
 provide a
centeralised
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centralised
centralized
 and structured approach by ordering and categorising the topics required for jobs in the chosen industry.
Furthermore
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, through these
institutions
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institutions,
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students
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 can enter the job market more easily due
the
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to the
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 internship plans with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 partnering companies.
In addition
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 to
this
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, these platforms
allows
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allow
show examples
 for valuable networking
oportunities
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opportunities
 that may be difficult to access through
work
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experience
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.
Students
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 connect with professors,
peer
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peers
show examples
 and alumni
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be beneficial in the long run. These institutions
also
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 provide certifications and degrees which are necessary for entering certain fields,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 medicine, law or engineering.
However
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, leaving school early to gain
work
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experience
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 allows
students
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 to learn directly from the industry and helps them
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 skills that are
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 by enabling
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 make informed judgements as working directly helps them better understand the
industries
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industry's
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 needs and demands.
Also
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, starting
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career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 early helps individuals achieve financial goals sooner and provides
advantage
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an advantage
show examples
 over their fellow agemates. In conclusion, both education and
work
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experience
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 have their advantages and disadvantages in preparing
students
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 for their careers.
While
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 a college or university education can provide foundational knowledge and a structured path into the job market,
work
Use synonyms
experience
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 allows
students
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 to gain practical skills and real-world knowledge. Ultimately, the best option depends on the individual's
career
Use synonyms
 goals, interests, and the industry they wish to enter.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing your introduction for clarity and to better outline the essay’s direction. For example, you could clearly state that you will discuss both views and present your opinion.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your work to correct minor spelling and grammatical inaccuracies, such as the misspellings of 'colleges,' 'libraries,' and 'opportunities,' as well as ensuring parallel structure in lists.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, try to include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate how education or work experience has benefitted individuals in their careers.
task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion by giving both sides of the argument and provided a clear conclusion summarizing your perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs that separate different ideas, which aids in reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic foundation
  • specific knowledge
  • qualifications
  • valuable resources
  • experienced faculty
  • deeper insights
  • strong networks
  • industries
  • internships
  • placement opportunities
  • career guidance
  • smoother entry
  • job market
  • practical skills
  • hands-on knowledge
  • job-ready
  • trades and professions
  • financial independence
  • student loans
  • educational expenses
  • real-world experience
  • career goals
  • aspirations
  • working conditions
  • informed career decisions
What to do next:
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