IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

School and university students learn lessons far better from their teachers than ‎from other sources, such as the internet and television. To what extent do you ‎agree or disagree?‎

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Nowadays education sector digitizing at unprecedented rates,
using
Correct word choice
and using
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Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 as a source of study
is
Verb problem
has
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escalated significantly
by
Change preposition
among
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students
Use synonyms
. people hotly debated whether learning from teachers may
better
Add a missing verb
be better
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 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore why teaching
digital
Change the word
digitally
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 has significant benefits with a few minor drawbacks. studying online is worth
,
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apply
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because
Correct pronoun usage
it because
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 individuals
are be
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are
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 able to find whatever they want easily on the
internet
Use synonyms
 from different teachers and websites for free or reasonable prices. Often
face to
Verb problem
,
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face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
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 classes are unaffordable
while
Linking Words
 you can learn
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 skills on the
internet
Use synonyms
 with
somewhat
Correct your spelling
some
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 money. When sat in class, youngsters lesson just one person. If the teacher,
for example
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,
doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
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 familiar with
this
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 subject,
then
Linking Words
students
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 can't learn properly. In
this
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case
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case,
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 they need
look
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to look
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 for other sources. Another possible reason, perhaps more important, is missing classes. Often adults can't go to school
due to
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 their illnesses, so they can just google for
this
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 subject and find what they are looking for.
On the other hand
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, teaching online has some downsides too.When
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 online,
students
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 may use their laptops for
other purpose
Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
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,
such
Linking Words
 as gaming or chatting. Wasting lots of time with things that are not important. Another possible issue is inaccurate
informtion
Correct your spelling
information
 on the
internet
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. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 no control in advance over things that already
has
Verb problem
been
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 published,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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this
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 information may
useless
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be useless
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.
For example
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, your teacher
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 you an assignment to do, and you use
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 as a help tool, but what you get there is incorrect
as a result
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 you lose marks.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe
digital-learning
Correct your spelling
digital learning
show examples
 has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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considerable advantages for
students
Use synonyms
,
however
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, there are some issues that should be not ignored.

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task response
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position more explicitly. Consider rephrasing to 'In this essay, I will argue that while both methods have their merits, learning from teachers offers substantial advantages over online sources.'
task response
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points more clearly. You might say, 'Despite the drawbacks of online learning, the benefits it brings to accessibility and flexibility cannot be overlooked.'
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow. For example, you can use transitions like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'however' to connect your ideas better.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics when discussing the effectiveness of online resources compared to traditional teaching to enhance the credibility of your arguments.
task response
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of online learning, which is an important element in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with separate paragraphs for each main point, which enhances coherence and cohesion.
task response
You have made relevant points about accessibility and cost, showing a practical understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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