It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The issue of the lack of outdoor community
centers
has been debated many times. Some Change the spelling
centres
people
argue having outdoor squares and Use synonyms
parks
provides more benefits for the public who live in the Use synonyms
cities
. In my point of view. I partly agree with the given perspective for several reasons to support my view.
Living in towns that have huge Use synonyms
parks
facilitates Use synonyms
people
to recreation, relax, exercise, and socialize in open spaces with good Use synonyms
air
quality and less pollution. When Use synonyms
people
have opportunities to spend their free time with family, the majority of them prefer to visit Use synonyms
parks
rather than malls, which offer them more activities, whether picnics or playing outdoor games. Use synonyms
Moreover
, in squares, Linking Words
people
can gather for special events Use synonyms
such
as New Year and Christmas celebrations in the open Linking Words
air
. Use synonyms
For example
, India has one of the worst quality Linking Words
air
in the world; when it comes to improving the Use synonyms
air
quality in New Delhi, the government started building an open Use synonyms
park
and planting trees all over the city.
Use synonyms
However
, there are several reasons against the statement Linking Words
that is
crucial for Linking Words
cities
or towns to have public outdoor space. The main reason would be that maintaining and building Use synonyms
parks
or squares can be expensive. The expense of purchasing the land is expensive and installing trees, flowers, and others would be more expensive. The other argument is that public spaces Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
parks
and gardens would become the Use synonyms
center
of homelessness and crime in the Change the spelling
centre
cities
, which endanger many Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
In
Central Change preposition
apply
Park
in Manila, The Philippines has had prior crime, compared to other places.
In conclusion, having large public outdoor places would benefit more for the Use synonyms
people
who live in the Use synonyms
cities
. Use synonyms
Park
provided them with many outdoor activities with better Use synonyms
air
. Even though some Use synonyms
people
still argue thatUse synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
but
I strongly believe Correct word choice
apply
have
Wrong verb form
having
Use synonyms
park
is the best for the Correct article usage
a park
people
.Use synonyms
teretryandbuy
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance, but it would be better if you simplified the sentence structure for clarity. Also, ensure to use 'In my opinion' rather than 'in my point of view.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Make use of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points more smoothly. For instance, you could use transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' to start your counter-argument.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they strengthen your argument. The example regarding air quality in India could be made more relevant to the benefits of parks only with a better connection to your main point about outdoor spaces.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of parks and squares are relevant and contribute well to your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite