It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The issue of the lack of outdoor community
centers
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centres
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has been debated many times. Some
people
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argue having outdoor squares and
parks
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provides more benefits for the public who live in the
cities
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. In my point of view. I partly agree with the given perspective for several reasons to support my view. Living in towns that have huge
parks
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facilitates
people
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to recreation, relax, exercise, and socialize in open spaces with good
air
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quality and less pollution. When
people
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have opportunities to spend their free time with family, the majority of them prefer to visit
parks
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rather than malls, which offer them more activities, whether picnics or playing outdoor games.
Moreover
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, in squares,
people
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can gather for special events
such
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as New Year and Christmas celebrations in the open
air
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.
For example
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, India has one of the worst quality
air
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in the world; when it comes to improving the
air
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quality in New Delhi, the government started building an open
park
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and planting trees all over the city.
However
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, there are several reasons against the statement
that is
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crucial for
cities
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or towns to have public outdoor space. The main reason would be that maintaining and building
parks
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or squares can be expensive. The expense of purchasing the land is expensive and installing trees, flowers, and others would be more expensive. The other argument is that public spaces
such
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as
parks
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and gardens would become the
center
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centre
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of homelessness and crime in the
cities
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, which endanger many
people
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.
For instance
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,
In
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apply
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Central
Park
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in Manila, The Philippines has had prior crime, compared to other places. In conclusion, having large public outdoor places would benefit more for the
people
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who live in the
cities
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.
Park
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provided them with many outdoor activities with better
air
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. Even though some
people
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still argue that
,
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apply
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but
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apply
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I strongly believe
have
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having
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Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
a park
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is the best for the
people
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance, but it would be better if you simplified the sentence structure for clarity. Also, ensure to use 'In my opinion' rather than 'in my point of view.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Make use of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points more smoothly. For instance, you could use transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' to start your counter-argument.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they strengthen your argument. The example regarding air quality in India could be made more relevant to the benefits of parks only with a better connection to your main point about outdoor spaces.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of parks and squares are relevant and contribute well to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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