IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below compare the water levels of six cities in Australia during October 2009 and October 2010. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.

The graphs below compare the water levels of six cities in Australia during October 2009 and October 2010. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.
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The bar chart provides key information about comparing
waters
Change the noun form
water
show examples
 levels in various cities in Australia between October 2009 to October 2010. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from
graph
Add an article
the graph
show examples
 that
Canberra
Use synonyms
 and Sydney
thy
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
percentage
Change the noun form
percentages
show examples
 in October 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
Canberra
Use synonyms
 and Sydney they are the same
percentages
Use synonyms
 but
Canberra
Use synonyms
 after one year
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 more the Sydney , where's
Canberra
Use synonyms
 which put him The throne of the summit is growing.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Melbourne and Darwin have the lowest percentage
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 water levels
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 the cities in Australia
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Melbourne in 2009 about 22 % per
cent
Use synonyms
 but in 2010
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 got
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
40 % per
cent
Use synonyms
 like same Darwin
while
Linking Words
 a little higher before they get 42% per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 2010 have
sharp
Add an article
a sharp
show examples
 decline in
percentages
Use synonyms
 about 24% per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 Brisbane and Perth
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
have close
percentages
Use synonyms
 about
brisbane
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
 that same rate
40
Change preposition
of 40
show examples
%
2009
Change preposition
from 2009
show examples
 to 2010 in
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side the
percentages
Use synonyms
it's changes
Change the verb form
it's changed
it's changing
show examples
 in
perth
Change the capitalization
Perth
show examples
2009
Change preposition
in 2009
show examples
 she
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 40% per
cent
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 after
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010 took a big
jumping
Replace the word
jump
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 70%
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cent
Use synonyms
.
Like
Correct word choice
As
show examples
 you see one year
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 everything which is crucial for any city In Australia some cities best
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 suitable conditioning.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words canberra, percentages, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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