IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the intemet is increasing the gap between the rich and poor, while others argue that it helps to reduce this gap. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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The
internet
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 has sparked a debate about whether it is widening or narrowing the gap between the rich and poor. Some argue that the
internet
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 is increasing inequality,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it helps to reduce it. On one hand, the
internet
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 can increase the divide between the rich and
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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. Those with better
access
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 to technology, education, and resources are able to use the
internet
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 to enhance their skills, create businesses, and
access
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 better job opportunities. Wealthier individuals and companies can afford high-speed
internet
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, which allows them to make the most of online platforms for personal or professional growth. Meanwhile, those in poverty often have limited
access
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 to the
internet
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 or digital tools, which can prevent them from advancing in today’s tech-driven world.
On the other hand
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, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 can reduce inequality by offering
access
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 to information and opportunities for all. Online education, job platforms, and freelance work allow people from all backgrounds to gain knowledge, develop skills, and find employment, regardless of their physical location or financial situation. The
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
also
Linking Words
 provides a level playing field for small businesses and startups, enabling them to reach global markets and compete with larger corporations. In my opinion, the
internet
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 itself is neither inherently good nor bad; it is how it is used that determines its impact. To bridge the gap, it is crucial to ensure that everyone has equal
access
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 to digital resources and opportunities, regardless of their socio-economic background.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points. For instance, when discussing how wealthier individuals benefit from the internet, you could include statistics or studies that highlight this disparity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between ideas in your paragraphs. While your arguments are clear, using linking phrases can enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and reiterating your opinion more forcefully, which would enhance the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
You present balanced arguments by discussing both sides of the issue, which demonstrates critical thinking—an important skill in IELTS writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and the different views effectively, providing a strong foundation for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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