IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are many reasons that can be attributed for attending colleges and universities; for example, job opportunity, new experience, enhancing knowledge etc. In your opinion what are the main reasons for people to attend colleges and universities

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The
numver
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who attend
university
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 getting higher nowadays. The question is what do the
reasons
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 for attending college
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my opinion, There are many
reasons
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,
However
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, The main
reasons
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 are family and marriage. In
this
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 essay, I am going to show more details about
this
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 topic.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, There are two main
reasons
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 for joining college. First of all, Families want their children to be successful
people
Use synonyms
,
Therefore
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, They support them with money and emotions,
Besides
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, They push them in order to join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
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,
For instance
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, My cousin did not want to go to
university
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,
However
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, His family pushed him to go to
university
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,
Hence
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, He is at
last
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 year in his college.
Moreover
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, The other main reason is to marry. The
people
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 who found love in high
school
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 or middle
school
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,
They
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always go to
university
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, Because, Their partners want to join to
university
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,
Moreover
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, They do not want their partner to be studying
lonely
Correct your spelling
alone
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,
Therefore
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, They choose to study together.
For instance
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, When was my brother a student in high
school
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, He found love with his girlfriend, And
then
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 they graduated from high
school
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,
However
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, His girlfriend wanted to go to
university
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 even though he did not want to, But he followed her.
However
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, there are
people
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 who choose unfamiliar
reasons
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. They are always motivated and want to get a higher education,
Hence
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, They choose to study at
university
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, My friend wants to be a pupil at
university
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, Because he has huge ambition and now he is the CEO of one of the biggest companies in New Zealand. In conclusion, I would argue that the main
reasons
Use synonyms
 are family and marriage, Because they support us a lot.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. You may also want to refine your thesis statement for better clarity.
Task Achievement
Make sure to support each main point with stronger examples and make connections between your ideas more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to your sentence structure and punctuation to enhance clarity. This will make your writing easier to understand and follow.
Task Achievement
You have identified relevant reasons for attending university, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples provides a personal touch and engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • job opportunities
  • personal development
  • self-discipline
  • critical thinking skills
  • professional network
  • mentorship
  • cultural awareness
  • extracurricular activities
  • leadership skills
  • teamwork
  • globalized workforce
What to do next:
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