IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A university education is the key to getting a good job. For that reason, the government should provide enough money to the universities so everyone can get a degree for free. To what extent do you agree?

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A college program is the crucial point in order to get a proper occupation. So, the authority ought to allocate enough
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 to the campus in order to give everyone a degree without any payment. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as several basic theories are important to apply
some
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in some
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 professions.
Consequently
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,
a supporting funds
Correct the article-noun agreement
supporting funds
a supporting fund
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 from the government can be useful to facilitate educational operation.
To begin
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 with,
an
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apply
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education is vital for many kinds of folks who want to work, especially for those who can not afford the bills.
Moreover
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,
such
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 obligations are mandated
to
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by
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 the authority, so it is basically the rights of the citizens. In
adition
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addition
, a number of basic
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 are helpful for several careers as
it
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they
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offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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 many perspectives for some particular jobs.
For example
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, a medical scholar requires a portion of formal years of education before they can apply
an
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for an
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 occupation in
health
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the health
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 industry.
Thus
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, the authority's initiative is very useful
on
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in
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this
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 situation.
As a result
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,
a
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apply
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help from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public officials could
brings
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bring
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact
to
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on
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 the fields. It is happening because the lecturers' and
staffs'
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staff's
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 wages could be covered.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 funds can be distributed to a number of areas
such
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 as research,
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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 development, and other services.
Additionally
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,
such
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a
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an
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 initiative makes
academic
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the academic
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 community
to
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apply
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focus on
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 purpose.
For instance
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, if the operational bills are covered by the public officials' funds, many students will be able to focus on studying and researching,
not to mention
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 the importance of it to the whole academic
communities
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community
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.
Hence
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, It is critical for a college to receive money,
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consequently
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consequently,
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 they can allocate more hours for academic activity.
To sum up
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, a schooling program is vital for someone who
want
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wants
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 to get a profession.
Besides
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, it
also
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 allows an institution to distribute more hours for educational
purpose
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purposes
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly connected and logically follow one another. Try to use more linking phrases to enhance flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points thoroughly support your position. Expand on some points where necessary to provide a more nuanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your writing to correct small spelling and grammatical errors that can detract from your overall message.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue, and your points reflect a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the medical scholar, illustrate the importance of education effectively.
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