IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of home occupants in two countries ( Japan and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
) in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it is clearly shown that
Japanies
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 people mostly use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 goods and
services
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Replace the word
Malaysian
show examples
 people mostly use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing expenditure.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart , individuals utilize a majority of other goods and
services
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is about %29 and a minority of
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 is %6 in Japan.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Replace the word
Malaysian
show examples
citiziens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 mainly apply the housing outlay
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is about %34 and health care
againly
Correct your spelling
again
 lower it is %3 .
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
 two country health care consumption is less than other expenditures.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , in both
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 food spending
andother
Correct your spelling
and other
 goods and
services
Use synonyms
is accounted
Wrong verb form
account
show examples
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 half of all household
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , transport
services
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in Japan doubled to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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