Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Correct article usage

The

show examples

thought of enjoying

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

after school has been increasingly common in

this

Linking Words

modern era.

This

Linking Words

is because change in

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

has taken mammoth dimensions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some individuals

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that children should understand their extra

responisibilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

This

Linking Words

essay intends to shed light

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viewpoints and I think students should enjoy their life

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

younger age. There are many wonderful facets associated with the fact of having extra

work

Use synonyms

apart from the

study

Use synonyms

. The contributing factor is doing their personal

work

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cleaning their rooms and learning some skills.

For example

Linking Words

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Japan teenagers do some extra activities to help their parents which

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

their productivity.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Children should earn some money to support themselves in the present and future. Like they can do

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, which can help them to earn some money.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

recent

study

Use synonyms

shows that 60% of

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

Add an article

the job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

restaurants and in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other sectors to

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

independent in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

European countries.

Besides

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

, some people think that kids should enjoy their school

time

Use synonyms

without any burden. The observing factor is good grades. As they just do

study

Use synonyms

without any other

work

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

their performance in the school will be excellent. Even, They can

explore

Rephrase

even explore

show examples

more places and learn about different things. When they have extra free

time

Use synonyms

after

Use synonyms

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

, they can visit more places and can grab more knowledge about different

prodcuts

Correct your spelling

products

. Neither

they

Add a missing verb

do they

show examples

have more stress nor any extra

burrden

Correct your spelling

burden

on their shoulders.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I am

inclinde

Correct your spelling

inclined

incline

to believe that extra

work

Use synonyms

can make children

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsible

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

but somehow it can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

mind

Replace the word

mental

show examples

development, which can only

control

Wrong verb form

be controlled

show examples

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

responsibilities.

This

Linking Words

can

dangerous

Add a missing verb

be dangerous

show examples

for their

study

Use synonyms

and

overall

Linking Words

development.

According to

Linking Words

me, kids just need to focus on their education and celebrate their free

time

Use synonyms

according to

Linking Words

their

wish

Fix the agreement mistake

wishes

show examples

hk3519552Mon Mar 17 2025

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task achievement

The introduction presents both views but could be clearer in stating your position. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using clearer transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them.

task achievement

During your discussion of viewpoints, ensure you provide more specific examples that support your arguments and clarify your points further.

task achievement

You provided a clear discussion of both perspectives, which is essential for this type of essay.

task achievement

Your use of examples, like part-time jobs for teenagers, adds credibility to your argument about responsibility.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibilities
life skills
time management
teamwork
problem-solving
accountability
work ethic
independence
consequences
creative development
social interactions
burnout
excessive
balance

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Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

The media pays too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.