IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think may be the reason for this? What effects might have on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In an era
characetrized
Correct your spelling
characterized
characterised
 by rapid transformation , the phenomenon of globalization has permeated every
facets
Change to a singular noun
facet
show examples
 of daily existence , particularly in the realm of manpower.
This
Linking Words
 evolution has created a remarkable difference in
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 mindset.
While
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 advancements have undoubtedly facilitated an
easy going
Add a hyphen
easy-going
show examples
 life
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 , they have simultaneously created
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous employment opportunities that can be completed from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Indeed ,
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 has led to
steady
Add an article
a steady
the steady
show examples
 decline in the
number
Use synonyms
 of active
police
Use synonyms
 workers in many countries as
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 requires
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and hectic shift schedules.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to elucidate the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 alarming trend and the potential effects that can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. With
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to causative factors behind the
reducation
Correct your spelling
reduction
education
 of
police
Use synonyms
officers
Use synonyms
 ,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tough shift pattern comes
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 play first.
Because
Correct word choice
Police
show examples
police
Use synonyms
officers
Use synonyms
 are the protectors of the nation and they have the primary role in safeguarding each and
everyone
Correct your spelling
every one
show examples
 across the globe .These
job
Use synonyms
responsibility
Change the determiner
responsibilities
show examples
 coerce them to
work
Use synonyms
 around the clock regardless of the time , day or health conditions which is often stressful. Despite being cognizant of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
benefits of
police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 are not ready to join .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , technological advancements have created ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities which can be done in many ways including
Use synonyms
work from home
Add a hyphen
work-from-home
show examples
 strategies . Another major reason behind
this
Linking Words
 decreasing
number
Use synonyms
 is owing to the high risk of the
job
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 involves dealing with criminals which might be a daunting task and the ultimate
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of managing those
deliquents
Correct your spelling
delinquents
delinquent
lie
Correct subject-verb agreement
lies
show examples
 on the top of
police
Use synonyms
officers
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of criminals committing suicide inside the jail and the blame often goes to
police
Use synonyms
officers
Use synonyms
. Who will be ready to do
this
Linking Words
 kind of challenging
job
Use synonyms
?
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , there will be
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
due to
Linking Words
 the lower
number
Use synonyms
 of
police
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 as
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 are getting denied
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their basic protection which is one of their basic human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 of
low
Change the article
a low
the low
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of staff.
Consequently
Linking Words
 ,
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate will grow and
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
 in
generation
Correct article usage
a generation
show examples
 of a world full of criminals.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 fear in
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 mind and
people
Use synonyms
 cannot walk in the streets safely.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , if an emergency
situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
situation
show examples
 comes ,
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to suffer and overburden the active staff
further
Linking Words
 forcing them to leave the
police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 which will worsen the situation
further
Linking Words
. To cite an illustration , there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not enough
Use synonyms
police men
Correct your spelling
policemen
show examples
 to manage
Correct article usage
the flood
show examples
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 in India in 2010
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 compelled ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 to help
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
service
Use synonyms
 and
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of accidents happened in that
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
 mission
due to
Linking Words
 lack of training. In conclusion ,
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of reasons can be pointed out for the lessening of
police
Use synonyms
 staff which includes heavy
work
Use synonyms
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
, high
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, plethora of jobs ,
work
Use synonyms
 from home method but obviously , it has affected the world tremendously.
More
Correct article usage
The more
show examples
 the relaxation in
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
patter
Correct your spelling
pattern
show examples
, the higher will be the
individuals
Correct quantifier usage
number of individuals
show examples
 joining in
police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
Make sure to correct spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
language
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your writing.
content
Strengthen your examples and explanations to ensure they effectively support your main points.
content
Demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides relevant reasons and effects.
content
Attempts to connect social implications to the decreasing number of police officers, showing insight into the societal impact.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: