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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
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The bar graph displays the number of
students
Use synonyms
 from India, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Colombia enrolment at Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
, Riverview
University
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, and Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 most
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled at the
University
Use synonyms
 of Riverview, the number of Indian
students
Use synonyms
 who enrolled in three universities is larger than other
students
Use synonyms
 from different countries.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Colombian
students
Use synonyms
 are the lowest in number. Riverview
University
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 popular
university
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 from various countries: around 7500 from India, 5000 from Nepal, 4000 from Vietnam, and 1000 from both Indonesia and Colombia.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the variation in numbers from the first priority to the second by international
students
Use synonyms
 is the highest by approximately 15000.  
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
The University
show examples
 of Earlwood is the second priority for Indian and Nepali
students
Use synonyms
 with 6000 and 4000, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 Vietnamese and Colombians preferred to study at Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 compared
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the previous one with 3000 and 1000, in turn.
However
Linking Words
, Indonesian
students
Use synonyms
 interested in studying in both universities are at 1000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment trends
  • steady increase
  • fluctuating enrolments
  • international student numbers
  • comparative analysis
  • favored choice
  • global economic conditions
  • admission policies
  • program offerings
  • student satisfaction
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