IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Fossil fuels are the main sources of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

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The debate over the optimal
energy
Use synonyms
 sources for modern society is both dynamic and divisive. As the global community navigates its
energy
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 future, a clear divide emerges between proponents of traditional
energy
Use synonyms
 resources like oil and gas and advocates for renewable alternatives
such
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 as solar, nuclear, and wind power.
This
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 essay will examine the merits and demerits of these competing approaches.
To begin
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 with, advocates for fossil fuels argue that their continued use remains indispensable
due to
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 the immense
energy
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 requirements of the global economy. These conventional
energy
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 sources provide a consistent and plentiful supply, supporting industries and infrastructure worldwide.
For instance
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, the extensive
energy
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 demands of contemporary life render it challenging to rely solely on renewable
energy
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 at
this
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 stage.
Thus
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, the extraction of oil and gas persists as a necessary component of
energy
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 strategies, underscored by its well-established infrastructure and predictability.
Conversely
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, there is an urgent imperative to transition towards renewable
energy
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 because of the environmental harm linked to fossil fuels. Global warming,
in particular
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, necessitates a move toward cleaner
energy
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 solutions,
such
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 as wind, hydroelectric, solar, and nuclear power.
Moreover
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, these sustainable options are critical for reducing carbon emissions, ultimately fostering a more sustainable planet. By implementing renewable technologies, several European countries have demonstrated how these alternatives can meet
energy
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 demands
while
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 preserving environmental integrity.
Furthermore
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, I assert that embracing renewable
energy
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 is not merely beneficial but essential for the future of humanity. A carefully managed transition from fossil fuels to sustainable sources can significantly mitigate the risks of environmental degradation. Encouragingly, the required technologies are available and should be harnessed fully, ensuring the protection of both the planet and future generations. In conclusion, I believe that prioritizing renewable
energy
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 is crucial for ensuring the safe and sustained advancement of human civilization. It is vital to recognize the potential repercussions of inaction, as postponing
this
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 shift could result in severe ecological and unforeseen challenges. Ultimately, committing to renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 will not only conserve the environment but
also
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 promote a legacy of sustainable development for the generations to come.

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task response
Your task response is strong, presenting a balanced view of both sides of the argument and a clear conclusion. However, aim to develop your ideas a bit further to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to strengthen connections between points.
positive
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion, which engages the reader well.
positive
You provide relevant examples of countries transitioning to renewable energy, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • finite resources
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainability
  • stimulate technological innovations
  • air pollution-related health problems
  • energy security
  • initial costs
  • long-term savings
  • infrastructure
  • dependency on foreign oil
  • national security
  • climate change
  • carbon footprint
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