IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

A few people debate that technological inventions like cellphone are making people socially less interactive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, the issue of the dearth of physical interactions sparks controversy.
Therefore
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, certain people contend that with the invention of electronic gadgets
such
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 as mobile phones, the gap between relationships is widening to a greater extent. In my perspective, the aforementioned statement is indeed true as people impart prominence to virtual meetings over face-to-face interactions.
To begin
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 with, communication has been rendered inexpensive and virtual with the aid and advent of technology allowing individuals to
interac
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interact
 in
fraction
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 of
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 with the necessity of physical presence.
Moreover
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, the availability of social media has

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your assertion about the negative impact of technology on social interaction.
coherence
Work on linking your ideas more clearly. Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. Try to develop each main point in a separate paragraph to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on it, setting a strong foundation for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital platforms
  • face-to-face interactions
  • over-reliance
  • communication skills
  • verbal communication
  • superficial relationships
  • virtual social networks
  • texting
  • social media interactions
  • illusion of companionship
  • long distances
  • diverse communication
  • online communities
  • forums
  • meaningful interactions
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