Many people think the most important thing in life are free they cannot be bought. Do you agree or disagree?

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It can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most people think
freedom
Use synonyms
in
life
Use synonyms
that most people cannot be bought. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, and the following examples will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons why
freedom
Use synonyms
in
life
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most people cannot
be bought
Verb problem
apply
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is that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
first period
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many workers could not choose
specific
Add an article
a specific
the specific
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career
Use synonyms
which they want to do since they did not find their inspiration. Choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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career
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or job is
direction
Add an article
the direction
a direction
show examples
that you feel happiness and have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
in every day.
For example
Linking Words
, after
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
graduated
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they did not know what they wanted to do
somethings
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
, they chose and worked every
career
Use synonyms
paths
Fix the agreement mistake
path
show examples
. After that they have more experience and know their major field, they can take
time
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and manage their timetable by themselves.
This
Linking Words
example shows that choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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occupation
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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a major role in getting
Use synonyms
freedom
Replace the word
a free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
and more money. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
is the fact that
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
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day of workers is a significant reason.
This
Linking Words
is because
free
Add an article
the free
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time
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to relax and do
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interesting hobbies that you cannot buy
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, young workers continuously
work
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hard and feel
burn
Wrong verb form
burned
show examples
out of
work
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,
they
Correct word choice
so they
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might want to take a break and relax on short holidays.
Although
Linking Words
they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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not enough
time
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to do everything, they will probably manage a lot of activities in one trip
such
Linking Words
as
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
Add an article
a picture
the picture
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picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
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at
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
,
sun bath
Correct your spelling
sunbath
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on the beach or hiking on the top of
mountain
Add an article
the mountain
a mountain
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I believe that they can come back to
work
Use synonyms
hard again.
This
Linking Words
case demonstrates that perhaps they prefer leisure days
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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quality
time
Use synonyms
rather than working at
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
In conclusion, It is undoubtedly true that
freedom
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in
life
Use synonyms
that they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be bought
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money because choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
career
Use synonyms
is
direction
Add an article
the direction
a direction
show examples
that they feel happiness and
freedom
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
, and have leisure days to relax and do interesting hobbies.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great! However, consider providing a brief outline of the main points you will discuss to help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly linked both within and between paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases can help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and sentence structure. There are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be revised for clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide clear examples that relate directly to the main point being made in each paragraph. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion in your introduction, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adherents
  • predictability
  • responsibilities
  • productivity
  • reduces stress
  • eliminating
  • prioritize
  • spontaneity
  • creativity
  • rigid
  • explore new opportunities
  • adapt to unexpected situations
  • personal growth
  • fulfilling life
  • general structure
  • efficiency
  • predictability
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • structured routine
  • maintaining order
  • flexibility
  • exploration
  • unpredictability
  • balanced approach
  • professional growth
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