With the increasing demand for energy sources such as oil and gas, should people be looking for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched places? Do the advantages of locating new source of energy outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas ?

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The need
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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fossil
feul
Correct your spelling
fuel

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sources
such
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as
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
gas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is increasing day by day, So we have to search remote
areas
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to extract them.
Altough
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Although

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this
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process
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has
unfavorable
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unfavourable

The spelling of unfavorable is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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outcomes, I believe that we should keep searching for these kinds of
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

untill
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until

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we can use another source of
energy
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globally.
Admitedly
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Admittedly

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,a lot of detrimental effects stem from searching and extracting
oil
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and
gas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. First and
for most
Correct your spelling
foremost

The word for most doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, for
this
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process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

we need to prepare the area for extraction. By preparing, I mean cutting down trees in jungles and digging large holes in oceans.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we are
destructing
Verb problem
destroying

There may be a verb use issue here.

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Correct article usage
the enviroment

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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enviroment
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environment

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and other specie's
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes

It seems that home may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for getting
Change preposition
to get

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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more amount of fossil
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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, in
persian
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Persian

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golf
Add a comma
golf,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in persian golf. Consider adding a comma.

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there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject a lot. Consider changing the verb form.

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a lot of
extarcting
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extracting

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utilitize
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utilities
utilize

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which
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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work 24 hours a day.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in these
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

areas
Add a comma
areas,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in these areas. Consider adding a comma.

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we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't

The word cant doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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find any sea
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals

It seems that animal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because they have gone or killed since the
process
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of extraction started.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,finding and extracting
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
gas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
undenyabel
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undeniable

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consequences but the advantages are more than disadvantages for now. These years Fossil
feuls
Correct your spelling
fuels
feels

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have become the main source of our industries and transfer systems. Most of our vehicles work with
gas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and there are a
little
Correct word choice
small

There may be an adjective issue here.

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amount of them which work with batteries. In the near future maybe we can replace
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
gas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with other sorts of
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as nuclear, but for
now
Add a comma
now,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for now. Consider adding a comma.

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they are our main source. So,
finiding
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finding

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new
areas
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and damaging them for extracting fossil
feuls
Correct your spelling
fuels

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is
Correct article usage
an unfovarble
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unfovarble
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unfavourable

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action but mandatory at the same time. In conclusion,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some individuals think that damaging untouched
areas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for gaining
Change preposition
to gain

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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gas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary

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, I would say that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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it is essential
untill
Correct your spelling
until

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we can replace these sources with better ones. So even if
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has detrimental effects, we have to do it for our own needs.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly outline your main argument in the introduction and ensure that it is consistent throughout the essay. This will help improve your coherence and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your writing style and connect your ideas more fluently.
task achievement
While you have discussed the drawbacks of searching for oil and gas, providing more specific examples of alternative energy sources could strengthen your argument regarding future transitions.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to ensure clarity. Minor errors can impede understanding, so proofreading your work would be beneficial.
task achievement
You have raised relevant points and provided reasons for both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples from real-world situations, such as the Persian Gulf, adds credibility to your claims.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • renewable energy
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity loss
  • energy independence
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • economic benefits
  • energy security
  • habitat destruction
  • indigenous communities
  • cultural heritage
  • global warming
  • infrastructure development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: