IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think the most important thing in life are free they cannot be bought. Do you agree or disagree

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It can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people think
freedom
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 that most people cannot be bought. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and the following examples will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons why
freedom
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most people cannot
be bought
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first period
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many workers could not choose
specific
Add an article
a specific
the specific
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 which they want to do since they did not find their inspiration. Choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 or job is
direction
Add an article
the direction
a direction
show examples
 that you feel happiness and have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in every day.
For example
Linking Words
, after
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 graduated
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they did not know what they wanted to do
somethings
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
, they chose and worked every
career
Use synonyms
paths
Fix the agreement mistake
path
show examples
. After that they have more experience and know their major field, they can take
time
Use synonyms
 and manage their timetable by themselves.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 occupation
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a major role in getting
Use synonyms
freedom
Replace the word
a free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and more money. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
 day of workers is a significant reason.
This
Linking Words
 is because
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to relax and do
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interesting hobbies that you cannot buy
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 money. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, young workers continuously
work
Use synonyms
 hard and feel
burn
Wrong verb form
burned
show examples
 out of
work
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 might want to take a break and relax on short holidays.
Although
Linking Words
 they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough
time
Use synonyms
 to do everything, they will probably manage a lot of activities in one trip
such
Linking Words
 as
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
Add an article
a picture
the picture
show examples
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
 at
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
,
sun bath
Correct your spelling
sunbath
show examples
 on the beach or hiking on the top of
mountain
Add an article
the mountain
a mountain
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I believe that they can come back to
work
Use synonyms
 hard again.
This
Linking Words
 case demonstrates that perhaps they prefer leisure days
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 quality
time
Use synonyms
 rather than working at
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 In conclusion, It is undoubtedly true that
freedom
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
that they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be bought
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 money because choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 is
direction
Add an article
the direction
a direction
show examples
 that they feel happiness and
freedom
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
, and have leisure days to relax and do interesting hobbies.

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task achievement
Clarify your points more clearly in each paragraph. For example, when discussing the importance of choosing a career, provide more detail on how it contributes to happiness and freedom.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and word choices. For example, 'freedom in life that most people cannot be bought' can be stated more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid vague phrases such as 'the first period of many workers.' Being specific about what you mean will improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, consider rephrasing for clarity. It could begin with 'Many people believe that the most important things in life are those that cannot be bought.'
task achievement
You've presented a clear argument in favor of the idea that freedom and life choices cannot be bought.
task achievement
Your use of examples such as career choice and leisure time effectively supports your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adherents
  • predictability
  • responsibilities
  • productivity
  • reduces stress
  • eliminating
  • prioritize
  • spontaneity
  • creativity
  • rigid
  • explore new opportunities
  • adapt to unexpected situations
  • personal growth
  • fulfilling life
  • general structure
  • efficiency
  • predictability
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • structured routine
  • maintaining order
  • flexibility
  • exploration
  • unpredictability
  • balanced approach
  • professional growth
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