IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Human
life
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 full of struggles, and sometimes
people
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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 to go through multiple challenging situations which will turn into learnable lessons for the future.I strongly agree with the statement that most experiences that
occurs
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occur
show examples
 in our
life
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 will eventually teach us and help humans to develop the
capabilty
Correct your spelling
capability
 to differentiate between right and wrong.
This
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 essay is going to elucidate the reason to support
this
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 viewpoint. To commence,
people
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 can be divided into two categories on the basis of the way they acquired financial stability as inborn and acquired through their
Use synonyms
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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. Obviously , the humans who belong to the acquired group
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 had to suffer from
lot
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a lot
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 of negative events which has led them to gain knowledge from that. Because they have to go for
variety
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a variety
show examples
 of jobs and found difficult to pay their utility bills and sometimes they
had
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have
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 to
rely
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rely on
rely upon
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 or borrow money from their relatives or friends which has
further
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 complicated the situation. Even though
,
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apply
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we had a good relationship with our friends
but
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apply
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when it comes to the matter of money , most of the individuals refuse to offer help and really
gives
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give
show examples
 us a light about their character and recognize our importance in their
life
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.
Therefore
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 , it really
teach
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teaches
show examples
 us lessons that we should not be depending other
people
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 for our own matters regardless
how
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of how
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 close we are.
For example
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 , former Indian president
Dr.
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Dr
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APJ
kalam
Capitalize word
Kalam
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 wrote in his books,
he
Correct pronoun usage
that he
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 had to
lend
Verb problem
borrow
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 some amount from his relatives for his
fathers
Change to a genitive case
father's
fathers'
show examples
 treatment and they asked his house to pay them back. Another experience that can be pointed out is the changes happened to the
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life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
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 of
people
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 across the globe. Because
people
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 who had to have
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sedentary
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life
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lifestyle
show examples
style
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 ended up in hospitals with morbid obesity and diabetes, went through
negative
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the negative
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 side of human
life
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,
struggled
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and struggled
show examples
 a lot with managing their weight and bringing their blood sugar under control, was a
Correct your spelling
hard time
hardtime
Correct your spelling
hard time
 for them at that time but later they have adopted strategies to prevent the
occurence
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of
this
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 kind of diseases literally gave them a lesson.
Consequently
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 ,
people
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 have developed
heathier
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healthier
show examples
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life
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lifestyle
show examples
style
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 and better coping strategies.
For example
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 , famous actress Deepika shared her experience on social media about the
hardwork
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hard work
 that she had to put
to
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in to
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 lose weight and
ill
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the ill
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 effects she had to face from diabetes made her
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
realize the side effects of
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
the lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 she had. In conclusion ,
people
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 learn from mistakes. it is actually
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 experiences
Correct pronoun usage
that gives
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 us knowledge regarding what not to repeat in the future and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 us valuable lessons to prevent future errors.
Although
Linking Words
 it is quite hard to
tacle
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tackle
 those difficult situations
initially
Linking Words
 , it will
definitley
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definitely
 improve our coping strategies.

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Language / Grammar
Improve your grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression; ensure that your sentences are clearly structured without multiple errors that could confuse readers.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. Personal anecdotes can strengthen your argument and make your essay more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear main idea and that it connects logically to the overall argument of the essay. Consider using more linking phrases to enhance cohesion.
Content
You have chosen relevant themes to discuss; the personal experiences add authenticity to your argument.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which provides clarity regarding your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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